Be the Change

Change is inevitable! It is the only thing constant in life. You can either resist it, or embrace it like an adventure. It is not always easy to do, but it is necessary if you want to live an extraordinary life. One way you can embrace the changes, which are occurring in your life, is by acknowledging your part in the change.

One Friday afternoon, a woman, who hated her job and wanted out, manifested the job of her dreams after a Resonance Repatterning® session. In the session, she admitted that she really wanted a more rewarding job, but was procrastinating. We identified the unconscious pattern that was holding her back and shifted her resonance to deserving a much better, higher-paying, creative position that showcased her unique gifts and talents.

Lo and behold, when she went to work the following Monday morning, she was summoned to her boss’s office and promptly fired. She called me very irate and blamed me for her getting fired. I encouraged her to look at how powerful she was and how fast the universe provided her with verification of her new resonance. I reminded her of how she had been procrastinating about finding a better job and could now embrace and be grateful for the opportunity to create the job of her dreams. . .and so she did!

While change is inevitable, it can also be emotional, especially when your partner moves on from what you thought was a committed relationship. Rather than engaging in finding fault and placing blame, simply be willing to accept what is so about the situation. Life is too short to resist change and perceive it as “it shouldn’t be this way.” The sooner you stop judging and assessing what was good from what was bad, and who was right from who was wrong, the quicker you will be empowered and experience inner peace. By embracing change and granting yourself the grace to let your partner go, you will have more energy to move forward with ease, grounded in the fact that from what you learned in this relationship, you will be able to attract an even better partner who wants to be with you.

The quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world,” profoundly transformed the relationship I had with my father. After having four children, my mother and father divorced. He remarried and started a new family. On the rare occasions that we talked, it seemed that he just reported how things were going with him and his new family. He would tell me all the things I wished I had done with him when I was young, but since we did not live together, my siblings and I did not get to do many of those memorable activities. I found myself becoming more and more envious.

I noticed that what was missing for me in his calls was acknowledgment for who I was in his life. So, I started acknowledging him for being a great father to his other three children and how fortunate they were to get to do all the things they were doing and to have him as a dad. After just two phone calls, he started asking about me and my life and acknowledging me for being a great daughter. He also acknowledged me for the difference I was making in the lives of my clients. These were things he had never told me before.

It’s true, by being the change you want to see in the world — providing the very thing you think is missing in your relationships — you too can experience what your heart desires, just as I did. In the very giving of it, my father gave back to me genuine love and acknowledgement. It was quite remarkable.

So, be the change, embrace the change, expect the change and you too can live an extraordinary life filled with everything you desire — a life where you can hardly wait to get up and one that is overflowing with love, joy, passion, and fulfillment.

Lovingly Submitted,
Victoria Benoit, M.C.
Healer, Speaker, Bestselling Author – What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life

 

Why Are You Unhappy? (Wei Wu Wei)

I first heard this poem read online by author David Whyte. When he reads a poem his voice tone truly adds to the dimension and my understanding of the poem. Imagine an earthy Irish brogue voice reading this:

“Why are you unhappy?
Because 99.9 per cent
Of everything you think,
And of everything you do,
Is for yourself —
And there isn’t one.”

From “Ask The Awakened” by Wei Wu Wei

The question “Why are you so unhappy” triggers us to put a name to any malaise we may be experiencing. In a nanosecond before finishing the first line, we’ll hear in our head a rapid firing of all our grievances that add up to “Why we are so unhappy”. BUT! – our excuses and reasons are short lived. Author Wei Wu Wei, takes the juice of justification and tells us the truth. We don’t exist. We don’t have a self that can be made happy. In the broad scheme of the universe or the end goal of enlightenment, we discover that we are nothing or no thing. We are part of the vast universe of emptiness from which all things arise. Wrap your mind around that! Then know that we do exist in relation to each other – part of the vast interconnection of the grid of humanity. It may change your orientation to having status, stuff or having things for yourself… as your motivation for what makes you happy.

When you realize that everything we think and do is for everyone, we suddenly lose an orientation toward choice and instead embody an obligation to serve the whole. In each present moment, we ask “What is my purpose here for the highest and best for everyone?”  “How are my choices benefiting me and everyone else?”   “What do I appreciate about myself and everyone here?”

The poem is from a classic book of poetry and essays written by an anonymous author who went by the name of Wei Wu Wei. Google his name for a very interesting story. He wrote a number of books from 1958 to 1974. ‘Why are you so unhappy’ is from the book “Ask the Awakened – The Negative Way”, first published in 1963.

To help integrate repatterning sessions I often recommend clients take time to  reflect on a session and journal about their experiences.    On the path of enlightenment or healing, the  writing of Wei Woo Wei can help you reflect a little deeper on life and living.

With love and light
Carolyn Winter
Holographic Coach

C H A N G E

Change is inevitable! It is unable to be avoided, evaded, or escaped and is certain to occur. It is unalterable most of the times. One of the only things consistent in life is change, its ebb and flow, the ups and downs, the ins and outs. Once we stop fighting against change, we can embrace it and let life flow naturally.

C     Change takes Courage! It is an act of bravery. It takes guts to really look at one’s life, evaluate it, and then take action to make the necessary modifications. It also takes courage for our clients to come in or call for sessions. They have done their initial evaluation of different aspects of their life they want change in, or they are plain ‘fed up’ with the consequences of the resonance of their patterns. We collaborate with them and give them the inspiration and the new resonance to experience the changes they want to see in their lives.

H     Happiness is achieved through making the needed changes that we have previously thought insurmountable. Have you ever put off making that phone call or talking to your boss, employee, partner, parents, only to find out that it was a piece of cake. Why do we wait to do those things that our mind thinks are going to ‘not be pleasant’, or ‘not turn out?’ It is because our mind believes our fears are true. Our mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. I recently came upon “The Work” by Byron Katie. She uses four questions to turn around what you are questioning, which can specifically help with our fears. Here are the questions:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Try it the next time you feel some resistance to communicate with someone that you know in your heart needs to happen. Watch the positive change and feel it in your body. The relief and personal accomplishment is always worth the risk! This reminds me of a quote by Erica Jong, “If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more!” I have used this form of questioning, as a modality with some of my clients and the turn around is amazing!

A     Attitude is paramount, and action is essential! Our attitude determines what we experience in every situation. Think about waiting in line for something. What is your attitude? Are you irritated or are you calm and perhaps reading a good novel while you are waiting? You always get what you put out. Your attitude, even when you are standing up for yourself, can either make or break the outcome. When you catch yourself being irritated, do an experiment and try different things to change it and notice what you experience. You might try breathing deeply in and out through your nose. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system for calm and relaxation. Notice what you experience, and also notice the difference in those around you. Just by changing your attitude, they change.

Your attitude also makes a huge difference when you are making changes in your life. Patience is a virtue. Rome was not built overnight. There is probably a good reason things are taking longer than you thought they would. Think about the times that you looked back on other previous delays and how it all made sense over time. Breathe!

Many people want to make changes but may feel overwhelmed by everything that would have to be done to make it happen. There already is not one moment to spare in their already full life. Let us take moving for example, especially when you have been in the same home for ten years. Just thinking about it feels overwhelming. I have used a wonderful process that helps with overwhelm. Let us say you want to move in six months. Get a poster board and starting on the far right side, write down the moving date. In the middle of the poster board would be three months from now, half of that would be six weeks from now, etc. and today’s date would be on the far left. Starting at the end date and moving to today, write down what would need to be accomplished by when. Soon you will see that what you actually have to do today and even this week is much more attainable that you previously thought. It is very manageable. Action is the key and being consistent will ensure your success!

N     New possibilities can be a by-product of change. Change can be uplifting and exciting. I love the explanation of Chaos Theory. It suggests that within the chaos of our problems or the changes we are going through, especially the ones that we did not expect or are sudden, or even seem to be out of our control, there is actually a new order – something good, better and beyond what we thought was possible. I am reminded of a country song by, Garth Brooks, “Thank God for Unanswered Prayers.” The lyrics, if I recall correctly, were about a man who was praying that his high school sweetheart would be his, which never happened. He is now with his wife, the woman beyond his dreams, better than what he ever thought possible; hence, thank God for unanswered prayers. So, the next time, change feels impossible to handle or a problem seems impossible to cope with, remember this principle and look for the new order, the unanswered prayer and you will find it!

G     Growth is immanent as we embrace change. It can’t not happen. The two go hand in hand. As we go with the flow and make the necessary changes as life presents us opportunities, the growth is natural. If we kick, scream, and resist change, it will kick us from behind every time. If we accept what is, we can take the next step, then the next step after that, until we have reached where the change is heading us. In the meantime, we come into our greatness.

E     Expansiveness is the result! As we use change to our advantage with enthusiasm, we can begin to see that change is actually necessary. Change can now be an avenue to evolve in our consciousness–to become the people we want to become.