Repatterning Journal

Never, ever stop celebrating life with reckless abandon.

I have diligently made many vision boards, some overarching, and some for only one specific future I wanted to manifest. In doing so, so much more has opened up. Many things I visualized have come to fruition, and I have been granted opportunities I never imagined could or would be possible.

Here’s more of my many ongoing results.

• I am deepening my relationship with God, and I receive daily guidance, which I follow.

• I am enjoying new friendships, which are deep, rich, and rewarding.

• I am singing up a storm, and dancing like nobody’s watching!

• I am acquiring new referral sources for my business that recommend people who become perfect, wonderful clients.

• I am taking action to ensure that my body is strong, flexible, and fit, and, as a result, I feel vibrantly ALIVE.

Here’s some goals I have yet to realize.

• I am still manifesting my perfect home—in the perfect location.

• I am actively pursuing my perfect husband—with the perfect qualities.

Alfred A. Montapert once said, “To accomplish great things, we must first dream, then visualize, then plan…believe…act!” Never, ever stop celebrating life with reckless abandon. Always and forever acknowledge the courage you possess to heal your past and restore each and every relationship in your life. Believe with all your heart that anything and everything IS possible! It all starts with Three Magical Words and ends with A Magical Life!

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“If your dreams don’t scare you, they are too small.” ~ Richard Branson

Conceive. Believe. Achieve.

You may have encountered people who just seem to get what they ask for without much apparent effort—things just drop into their lap—you might even have had this happen to you. This is the power of designing your life and manifesting your visualization using the universal law of attraction. This means that as soon you declare what it is you want, you will begin to see opportunities appear. Your job is to accept them with gratitude.

Manifestation isn’t magic, it takes some work. One way to improve your ability to have what you want is to create a project, or a series of projects, from the magical life you’ve designed.

Manifestation is not about expecting projects or desires to fall out of the sky. As you improve your ability to manifest, things may become more efficient and effective, with less stress, struggle and resistance. The time it takes to achieve the things you desire will appear swift and effortless—and that, my friends, looks like falling into your lap.

This is how I manifested one aspect of my magical life.

• I wanted to make a difference in the lives of people through writing successful books. I’d never authored a book—how should I go about doing it? I was open to learning whatever it took.

• Before starting any research, I visualized the project. I saw myself writing my books and being supported by a team of professionals. I visualized being a successful and well-respected author and saw people changing their lives through reading and practicing what I had written. I knew that being an Amazon #1 best-selling author was key to attaining credibility in this arena, so I visualized that too. Next, I wrote down, in great detail, everything I had visualized; then I created a fantastic vision board and put it on my desk so I could see my future every day.

• The next logical thing to do was to take action. I knew my friend, Dr. Margaret Mears, conducted a creative writing course, Write from Your Heart™, so I signed up. After completing that course, a book title, What Would Love Do Right Now?, popped into my mind—loud and clear. I grabbed a notebook. I wrote the title and my name on the first page and drew a big heart right in the middle. Easy peasy—I had a book cover which was to become my FIRST Amazon #1 Bestselling book! Hurray!

• However, I couldn’t seem to write anything for months and months. Back to the drawing board—or more succinctly, back to the vision board. I never stopped believing that my desire to write a book would happen.

• To tell the truth, I was overwhelmed by the idea of authoring a whole book—creative writing is one thing, completing a book is another. Out of the blue, a colleague suggested I attend Tom Bird’s retreat, Write Your Book in 5 Days™. That sounded just like what I needed—I thanked her and God for showing me the way. Back on track!

• I researched the retreat and found that it was only 90 minutes away and within my budget, so I signed up. The day it started, I grabbed my original notebook and headed for Sedona. The workshop was intense, fun, and revealing. I completed the first draft of my first book during those five days—WOW! What a ride. Things are finally looking up.

• So, now what? I had a rough draft but it was nowhere near being finished and my goal was to get my book on the Amazon #1 Best-Seller list. YIKES! I knew nothing about how to do that. Then I found out that Tom Bird also offered a Publish Now Program which I thought had everything I needed to accomplish my goal. Nothing’s going to stop me now! I was on my way and so excited to get started.

• This is when my book finally became a bona fide project. I went home and created my production schedule. I chose the date I wanted to have my book available on Amazon. I wrote down all the things I needed to accomplish one month before the end date. I kept identifying what needed to be done month by month working backward until I reached the starting date of the Publish Now Program.

• What surprised me the most was how manageable this project seemed to be. With everything written out on a timeline on a big poster board, I could envision its success—and most importantly—discovered I didn’t have to accomplish everything the first month. It was apparent who I needed to call and when, as well as, who I needed to secure contracts with for different services that weren’t included in Tom Bird’s publishing package. I could now breathe in—as well as out!

• Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, my ignorance bit me in the wallet. Being a new author, I hadn’t known all the right questions to ask and I didn’t know the difference between the terms, “copy editing” and “line editing.” The Publish Now Program contract included copy editing only.

• I was assigned a copy editor who I thought would be the answer to my prayers. After several months of working with him, going back and forth with very little progress and lots of frustration, he informed me that what my book desperately needed was called “line editing” and it was going to cost me extra—A LOT extra.

• The answer to my prayers was turning into a dispirited ordeal. The editor became less and less responsive and I realized he was not going to be able to finish the project. My expectations were thwarted. I felt so defeated I just gave up and stopped. Stick a fork in me—I’m done.

• Every day I looked at my vision board—sitting there on my desk—reminding me of my sincere desire to make a difference in the lives of people by sharing the book I titled, What Would Love Do Right Now?

• Knowing that the universal law of attraction is always working, I decided to focus on what I had declared, believe that it would happen, and expect opportunities to appear.

• Soon after, God nudged me once more and I thought, “Let me try again.” I contacted a colleague, who was also a writer, and she offered to edit my book with me. We spent four solid days together, during which time I had the feeling that she was taking “ME” out of my own book. She said things like, “This isn’t true,” “You can’t say that,” “I don’t agree with your philosophy,” “You need to update your approach,” and then she added her own ideas. By now, I was so insecure about my ability as an author, I just broke down into tears and went home. Needless to say, I didn’t use her version as my final manuscript. I forged ahead, undaunted, aligned with my original intention and vision. Nothing could, or would, stop me now!

• Fortunately, yet unbeknownst to me, two of my dearest friends while having lunch, were discussing the editing dilemma I was having with my book—frankly, both of them were sick and tired of listening to all the problems I was having with editors—so they stepped up to the plate and offered to assist with getting my book published.

• Betsy, who is a creative writer and award-winning graphic designer, polished my content and designed my book cover, as well as my publishing website. Paula, who is an excellent editor, did everything from style editing to grammar, punctuation, and proofreading. Both are extraordinary wordsmiths.

• With my dream team on board, I established a new production schedule and we rolled up our sleeves and started right away. The three of us worked together diligently, burning the midnight oil, and turned my original rough draft into a fabulous manuscript ready to publish. We had a blast. It was magical!

• We managed to format both the print and eBook versions on time. My print version went up first and got to #12 on Amazon, just through word of mouth by my family, friends, colleagues, and clients. I set about to find out what else I needed to do to get my book to #1.

• Enter Denise Cassino. She works with authors and guarantees that their books achieve an Amazon #1 best-selling status. Sure enough, less than 24 hours after the eBook was available, it went to #1 and I became a best-selling author!!!

• This credential gave me avenues to manifest my desire to make a difference in the lives of other people. I now have regular opportunities to speak to spiritual development groups, hold book-signings, and deliver workshops. I also facilitated a 10-week group forum, discussing and applying the principles from each chapter of my book. It made a significant difference in the lives of the participants, exactly what I wanted!

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” ~ Napoleon Hill

What you feel you attract…what you imagine you create.

To live a magical life, you must first free yourself from your suffering, struggling, bitterness, deep regret, and the hurts and harms that bind you to the past. It starts with you granting forgiveness, making amends, and being forgiven.

When your past is in the past where it belongs, you can begin to design your magical life! Visualizing, recording, and vision boarding—are all powerful ways to support you. Explore one method then another or use all three until you discover which combination works best for you. The most important thing is to START!

These are the methods I used to design my magical life.

• 1) VISUALIZING: I went to my meditation/healing room in my home, where I knew I could have quiet time by myself. I began by getting comfortable in my chair, then took some slow deep breaths in and out through my nose. I brought my energy and awareness down into my precious heart and said to myself, “I am open and ready to see, feel, sense, and hear the magical future that is mine to have in alignment with divine guidance and my purpose.” I let the thoughts and images flow.

• I imagined my perfect home; in the perfect location; with the right man who loves, cherishes, and adores me. My healing/coaching business is thriving, and I have the perfect referral partners. I have published six Amazon #1 best-selling books. I sing weekly in the Higher Vibration Healing Choir, and my husband and I dance at the local studios, as well as travel together for pleasure and business, whenever and wherever we want—all of which feeds my soul.

• My friendships are rich and meaningful. We have open and honest communication, we speak our truth, we hear and accept each other exactly as we are. We have fun together and support each other in accomplishing our dreams and goals—we even set each other straight, occasionally.

• My body is strong, flexible, and fit, and I am vibrantly healthy. Most importantly, I have deepened my relationship with God, and I receive daily guidance which I follow.

• 2) RECORDING: I wrote down everything I had seen in my mind’s eye and I added a few more things that came to me as I was writing. I knew that I was onto something when I was moved to tears as I let the words flow onto the paper.

• 3) VISION BOARDING: I gathered many magazines as my source for suitable pictures. I found a picture of a beautiful, plantation-style home that was located on a tropical peninsula overlooking a white, sandy beach. It felt like home. I cut it out and placed it on a poster board.

• I cut out pictures that revealed the many facets of the man of my dreams. In one picture, he was well-dressed sipping wine on the balcony of a Royal Caribbean cruise liner. Another picture showed him dancing, laughing, living and loving life at Mardi Gras. Yet another picture showed him in a tuxedo, standing at the altar with his best man, smiling from ear to ear. Woohoo!

• Next, I found pictures of a woman speaking to an expansive audience. I was thrilled to find another picture showing a woman at a writing desk with a bookshelf displaying best-selling books behind her, and a picture of a woman being interviewed on a national morning TV show regarding her book tour.

• I sprinkled the poster board with the words: fun, romance, love, adventure, passion, and joy, around the pictures along with the phrases, “I declare it will happen,” and “I proclaim it is mine.” Every morning when I wake up, and every night as I am falling asleep, I feel blissful as I gaze at each picture I chose, that embodies my magical life.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.” ~ Albert Einstein

Observing and healing a child’s suppressed behavior begins with creating a safe space.

Paying close attention to a child’s odd behavior can reveal suppressed emotional wounds that are a silent cry for help. It’s best to proceed with care and a genuine desire to release and heal what they are hiding.

Creating a safe space for a child begins by initiating eye contact, giving them focused attention, and offering reassuring touch as needed. Including all three while engaging with a child will forge a greater bond of love. It is imperative to let the child know there is nothing wrong and nothing bad will happen to them. Assure them that they are safe to say whatever is on their mind or in their heart.

Encouraging a child to express what they want in the safe space supports you in getting to know them at a deeper level. In turn, they experience how much you really care about their wishes. They also realize that you are truly interested in them and appreciate the attention they’re receiving.

This is how a relationship between a child and her father was healed.

• When I was in 1st grade, in Chicago, my school had an after-school program called, “Learn to Play the Piano.” I really wanted to take lessons, so I asked my dad who said, “Before you can take lessons, you have to get straight ‘A’s on your report card.” The years passed and finally in 7th grade I did it. My dad honored his word and let me take piano lessons. I was thrilled beyond belief!

• The classes and practice times were available at the school, so we didn’t need to buy a piano. Dad just had to pay a fee. At the school music recital, my father recorded my performance and was shocked at how good I was. I still have that tape recording.

• At the end of the year, my teacher told me and my parents that I had real talent and was a quick study. She also told us, that she thought music and piano were something I should pursue.

• The next year we moved to another school where this program was not available. I was very disappointed until I noticed that our new next-door neighbor had a grand piano and someone told me she gave lessons. One day after school, I knocked on her door and asked, “If I take lessons from you, can I practice on your piano?” She said, “Yes.” I was so excited! I went home and told my dad. He became infuriated and yelled, “How dare you let the neighbors know that we can’t afford a piano.” He then made me lie to our neighbor by telling her that I couldn’t take lessons because my schoolwork was more important, thus ending my piano career. The shame I experienced after that upsetting incident was unbearable.

• Around this time, my 20-year-old sister, living in California, bought a piano and started taking lessons. Four years later the company she worked for transferred her to France. Before she left the country, she planned a short leave to come home for a month.

• One night at dinner, about a week before my sister was due to arrive, my father announced, “I think we should buy a piano so Anna has a way to practice while she’s here.” He looked over at me and asked, “You play the piano too, don’t you?” I was dumbfounded. I could only manage to nod my head as feelings of animosity, resentfulness, and outrage overwhelmed me. How could he not remember my impressive recital, the recording he made, and my teacher’s acknowledgment? I just sat there and said nothing.

• The very next day my parents and I went shopping for a piano. We ended up buying the most beautiful, shiny black, upright Baldwin—known by the slogan, America’s Favorite Piano. I could not have been more delighted. While my sister may only be home for a month, that piano was going to remain in my living room—which meant I could play it anytime I wanted—and refuse to play it anytime my father was home.

• After a couple of months, my mother noticed that whenever my father was in the house, I wouldn’t play the piano at all, and if I was in the middle of practicing, I would simply stop. What no one knew was that it was the only way I could punish my father for doing what he’d done to me—humiliating me and making me lie.

• While my father was away on a weekend hunting trip, my mother—the astute woman that she was—decided to broach the subject of my odd behavior. She sensed that I might be more open to explaining myself when he wasn’t there. In her loving and understanding way, I eventually poured out everything I had held inside since I was five—the years I struggled to get straight ‘A’s. The shame I felt for lying to our neighbor. I yelled. I screamed. I pounded the table. I paced the floor. For over 20 minutes, I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe. I even started to tear up my sheet music, but my mother stopped me.

• When I had finally released all of my righteous indignation and I could talk normally again, she calmly said, “Your father has many peculiar rules. I’ll have a talk with him.” I asked her, “Do you think it’s because he doesn’t love me as much as he loves Anna? I don’t remember what she said, because whatever she said, it wasn’t my father saying it.

• A few days later, the three of us talked about what happened and how I felt. I asked my dad why he did and said those things. He apologized and explained that he had made up the rules to avoid admitting he should have bought me a piano years ago.

• I knew he deeply regretted his actions. As we hugged each other, he told me that he loved me dearly and I forgave him. I am forever grateful for that genuine act of forgiveness as it provided me with an open heart to accept opportunities over the course of my life that have been so much more rewarding than had I pursued a career in music. In spite of my dad’s rules, I have made a real difference in the world.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Increase your job satisfaction by reducing anxiety and conflict at work.

Appreciation and job satisfaction seem to go hand in hand. Here are some statistics I thought might interest you. Several studies over the past few years on job satisfaction in America has shown: only 45% of workers say they are either satisfied or extremely satisfied with their jobs; 85% of employees are indifferent to the organization for which they work and give their time, but not their best effort, creating approximately $7 trillion in lost productivity; and 69% of them say they’d work harder if they were better appreciated.

Healing the workplace starts with one work environment at a time, including: babysitting, a paper route, helping out on the family farm, waiting tables to pay for college, internships, working in a large corporation, owning a business—whatever you deem to be work. Healing your relationships in the workplace can provide a more harmonious environment with less conflict, stress, and anxiety, as well as greater job satisfaction with increased productivity.

Workplace relationships include: your boss, your co-workers, your subordinates, your clients, vendors, etc.—everyone you consider to be part of your work environment.

When you consider there are many reasons such as, having an unhappy home life, feeling unappreciated, being overworked, undermined, pressured to produce, passed over for promotions, the target of workplace gossip, etc.—which are not necessarily intentional—you can grant your co-workers forgiveness with more compassion for their hurtful reactions and behaviors.

This is how I healed my relationship with my boss.

• I remember one time when I took a huge risk and stood up for myself not knowing if I would be fired on the spot.

• I was a highly-trained Medical Ultrasonographer working in the perinatology department at a local hospital. My patients were women with high-risk pregnancies. Dr. Pierce, the head of the department, was extremely competent and respected, although I thought his bedside manner could use some work.

• One afternoon shortly before lunch, I was doing an ultrasound on a new patient. Dr. Pierce entered the room, stood there observing the procedure, began criticizing my technique—in front of the patient—then turned and walked out.

• As far as I knew, he had never done anything like that before to me, or anyone else—especially in front of a patient! In a New York minute, not only did I feel infuriated, embarrassed, and humiliated, I was appalled that the patient might think I was incompetent—I almost lost it!

• After the patient left, I stormed down the hall and burst into Dr. Pierce’s office to confront him about what just happened. With every ounce of righteous indignation, I really let him have it.

• “Don’t you EVER reprimand me in front of a patient again. If I would have done that to you, you would have fired me on the spot. I consider you fired!”

• “Oh, Victoria, you’re way too sensitive,” he said in a condescending manner.

• “That’s insulting! I’m NOT too sensitive. The only difference between you and me is you have a penis and more education— THAT’S IT! For your information, I am a qualified, certified, and highly-respected ultrasound technologist. You have no right to humiliate me like that. It’s demeaning and I won’t tolerate it. Anytime you feel the need to critique my work, feel free to set up a personal, private, training opportunity. I am not mistake proof and I’m willing to listen and learn.”

• “I see your point. I am sorry I spoke harshly to you in front of a patient. It was inappropriate,” he admitted.

• “OK, then, I accept your apology. In the future, please be more considerate. You may find that you’ll get more of what you want or need from everyone who works with you through kind and thoughtful interactions.”

• “I get it, I’ll give it my best,” he said.

• After this incident, our relationship became mutually respectful—I felt more like a colleague than a subordinate. Interestingly, when my birthday came around the next month, he gave me a $100 gift certificate. I believe that it was because I spoke up for myself and he had more respect for me.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“When employees respect each other and get along in the workplace, it’s amazing how productivity increases, morale increases and employees are more courteous to customers.” ~ Maureen Wild

Stop avoiding others and experience being fully self-expressed.

Healing hurt feelings with people in your community—who impacted you in childhood, or as an adult—gives you the freedom to be yourself, fully self-expressed and able to speak your truth to others. It gives you the capacity to expand and accept others just the way they are, and actively participate in activities with others you previously avoided.

Extended community members include: friends, family friends, babysitters, students, kids on the playground, schoolyard bullies, teachers, coaches, neighbors, clergy, club and scout leaders, librarians, doctors, nurses, landlords, social media contacts, etc.—everyone you consider to be part of your community.

When you consider there are many reasons such as, gossip, addictions, intimidation, intolerance, negative outlook, paranoia, mistrust, hatred, etc.—which are not necessarily intentional—you can grant your community members forgiveness with more compassion for their hurtful reactions and behaviors.

This is how I healed my relationships with several friends.

• In January of every year, I take an inventory of my life and my relationships. It occurred to me that several friendships had ended abruptly—out of the blue—without so much as an explanation. And, to this day I still have no idea why.

• To resolve the grief I felt, I was committed to healing the rejection, confusion, betrayal, devastation, sadness, and anger I experienced with each friend and then to reveal and heal the origin of the pattern. First, let me tell you a little about each friend and what happened.

– – – – – – –

• SUE. We met while attending Alison Armstrong’s Understanding Men, Celebrating Women workshop. We were talking weekly, by phone, openly sharing what was going on with the men in our lives and exchanging feedback. We were inspiring each other to remember what we had learned in the workshop. We both signed up for a second workshop in California and decided to share a hotel room, to cut down on expenses. Since Sue was flying in, I drove over from Phoenix with a couple of coolers of food for both of us. We spent the week together enjoying each other’s company.

• I noticed that Sue was a get up, get ready, and get out the door kind of gal—and I’m not. I really enjoy taking my time in the morning.

• One morning, when I had just gotten up, Sue announced she wanted to leave in ten minutes. I got ready as quickly as I could. However, I needed to wash my hair, so it was almost an hour before I was ready. I knew she was upset, and I could feel her frustration, but I really couldn’t—with a moment’s notice—make it work for both of us.

• I respectfully requested, “In the future, please let me know what your plans are, so I can accommodate your needs and still stay true to myself.” Without further discussion, I drove us to the workshop and picked up coffee on the way. The rest of our time together at the workshop went well. I assumed the incident was resolved.

• After returning home from the workshop, we were both very busy and didn’t talk for a couple of weeks. When Sue called me, the first thing she said was, “I no longer want to be friends with you.” She didn’t give me any reason, she just said, “I don’t want to talk about it or tell you what’s going on. I simply need to pull away and no longer engage with you.” I was stunned! I hung up the phone in tears.

• WOW! No explanation! My mind was racing—what did I say or do to deserve this? What could I have possibly done to cause this? Since she wouldn’t tell me anything, I assumed it was because her expectations were not met on that fateful morning in California.

– – – – – – –

• REBECCA. We met through mutual friends who had mutual interests. Rebecca and I began hanging out together every month or so, sharing—practitioner to practitioner—our different healing methods. Rebecca had expertise in Native American ceremonies which intrigued me. Although she was quite a bit younger than I, she was exceptionally wise for her years.

• Rebecca asked me to mentor her in the five healing methods I was proficient at, in exchange for therapeutic massages from her. She was curious about all of them and wanted to learn about each one. We got together for a coaching session within a week. She was particularly interested in Resonance Repatterning® so I gave her some of my old books to review and we scheduled another session in two weeks.

• When she called for her coaching session, she told me she had broken her foot, and let me know that she needed time to herself to heal and get ready to move to a new home. She requested to suspend our mentoring sessions for the time being and I agreed.

• I waited a couple of weeks and reached out to her as a friend, just to see how she was doing and to ask if she needed any help moving. She didn’t return my voicemail until a month later.

• That call was fraught with emotion and her tone was harsh and angry. Here’s how the conversation went:

• “You betrayed my trust and I no longer want to have anything to do with you!” she shouted.

• “What are you talking about? What did I say or do that offended you?”

• “I don’t want to talk about it!” she snapped.

• “How can I apologize for something when I don’t even know what happened? Please tell me what’s going on.”

• Silence.

• “Rebecca, I would never intentionally do or say anything to harm you. I care about you.”

• Silence.

• OK, if you ever want to talk about it, just call. Have a great life.” We both hung up.

• WOW! I still have no idea what happened. I assumed one of our mutual friends said something insensitive implicating me and a misunderstanding ensued.

– – – – – – –

• ANTON. I met Anton at a dance lesson. I was fascinated by his accent and his eastern European culture. During the four months we were dating, I came to realize that he wanted me to behave in ways that were inconsistent with my true nature. He expected me to eat what he thought I should eat—including things I told him were detrimental to my health; to spend less time with my friends; to stop social activities he didn’t want to participate in; to wear what he thought I should wear; to always watch movies he wanted to watch; it even got down to what time of day I was supposed to take a shower.

• I stopped dating him, although we managed to remain friends, which was working just fine for both of us. We still danced together weekly at the dance studio and saw each other at other social events.

• The holidays were coming and he was scheduled to have major surgery. I called him a few days before his surgery—here’s how the conversation went:

• “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?” I asked.

• “No.”

• “Do you want me to come to the hospital to visit you?”

• “No.”

• “Do you want me to pick up your son, who’s flying in tomorrow?”

• “No.”

• “Do you want to get together for Christmas?”

• “No. I have to go now.”

• “So, this is all you have to say?”

• “Yes.”

• “You’re not going to tell me what’s going on?”

• “No.”

• “OK then. Thanks for the memories. Hope your surgery goes well.”

• “OK.”

• WOW! Again—goodbye, so long, adios, sayonara, arrivederci—dropped like a hot potato with no explanation. I can only assume that our relationship wasn’t worth pursuing because he couldn’t change me to meet his needs and desires.

Since I still have no clue why each friend behaved in such a hurtful manner, I initially blamed them. So, to heal my experience, I imagined each friend genuinely saying to me, “I am sorry.” I suddenly felt so free that I decided to visualize myself apologizing to each of them for any harm I may have caused them.

The Pattern. This deep dive into lost friendships revealed a pattern of people dear to me abruptly leaving without an explanation. It occurred to me that this pattern originated when my father left—without an explanation—when I was 12, so I healed that as well.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“It’s not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.” ~ Tyler Perry

Healing your heart energetically, through visualization, is possible.

When you were growing up, your siblings may have been your closest friends, or so much older that they couldn’t identify with you or your life. As you all grow older and your lives diverge—differences of opinion, lifestyle, religious belief, socio-economic status—often cause rifts in your relationships, more so than distance and age. In any case—because they’re your siblings—you can be deeply hurt by their words or actions in much the same way as you can deeply hurt them with yours.

Immediate family members include: children, siblings, step-relationships, adoptive relationships, foster relationships, grandchildren, and godchildren.

When you consider there are many reasons such as, being judgmental, inconsiderate, disrespectful, stubborn, contemptuous, jealous, aggressive, pessimistic, etc.—which are not necessarily intentional— you can grant your immediate family members forgiveness with more compassion for their hurtful reactions and behaviors.

This is how I healed my relationship with my siblings.

• I’m the oldest of four children. My mother and I live in Phoenix, Arizona, about 35 miles from one another. My three younger siblings are spread out from Wisconsin to Wyoming.

• As my mother aged, she developed some medical and cognitive issues that required more and more personal care. The expectation was assumed—among my siblings—that it was my responsibility to make sure that all her needs were met because I was the one living closest to her.

• I was working full-time in my own business—in addition to traveling across town 90 minutes round trip three times per week—to help mom maintain her rapidly declining independence. I was paying her bills, taking her to doctor’s appointments, doing laundry and light housekeeping chores—for her and her two cats—plus tackling a variety of small home improvement projects and so much more.

• From childhood, my mother and I always seemed to be at odds with one another, and as her dementia progressed, it strained our relationship even more. No matter what I said or did for her, I received little to no appreciation or praise from her, AND—for that matter—no financial support or encouragement from my siblings. The overwhelming feeling that nobody cared hung over me for years.

• To add insult to injury, my husband was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer, and managing his care, in addition to that of my mother, took a toll on my business. I became so desperate for help I demanded that my brother take on the responsibility of being my mother’s Healthcare Power of Attorney thinking that it would inspire him to get involved. It made no difference. I was still expected to be an advocate for her and her primary family contact.

• My bitterness and resentment intensified after each passing week as I was putting everyone’s life before my needs, and it was starting to affect my well-being. I was losing weight rapidly. I was having difficulty sleeping and accomplishing routine tasks.

• After my husband passed away—and with him, his income—I was struggling financially. I urgently needed a reasonable sum of money to pay a few bills. With great trepidation, I set up a conference call with my siblings and asked to be compensated—from mom’s bank account—for all the time and effort I had been providing to our mother’s care out of the goodness of my heart. I implored them to consider that it was worthy of compensation since it took productive time away from my business and prevented me from participating in my personal activities and interests with friends.

• Without hesitating, my brother and youngest sister both said, “Yes.” Then, my other sister unequivocally said, “No, that’s Mom’s money. You can borrow it for this month, but you will have to pay her back.” Her words devastated me, so much so, that I could barely speak. But what happened next hurt me so deeply it infuriated me. Neither my brother nor sister—who had first generously agreed—stood up for me. They simply acquiesced to her emphatic refusal.

• In my stunned silence, I faintly heard them say that they appreciated all the things I did for mom. These words sounded hollow. They had the perfect opportunity to honor my sacrifice and demonstrate their gratitude but chose instead to be less than charitable. It wasn’t even their money. My mom had more than enough to cover her needs.

• Needless to say, I didn’t speak to any of them for quite some time. Furthermore, they felt no need to call and see how I was doing—which was even more hurtful.

• Everything changed when the inevitable day came that mom had a delusional episode and was no longer safe to stay in her home alone. In an emergency intervention, along with my mom’s doctor and authorization from my brother in Wisconsin, we determined that it was necessary to immediately transport my mom to a conveniently-located assisted living facility near my home and enrolled her in hospice care.

• Mom was utterly confused, irate, indignant, demanding, behaving aggressively toward me and the staff, and could not or would not be comforted. I was heartbroken to have to be the one to leave her—in her disoriented condition—in an unfamiliar facility.

• Once mom was settled, it was time to find her cats a new home, donate her clothing and household items, box up sentimental heirlooms, and liquidate her car, furniture, appliances, and mobile home.

• Thankfully, my brother, as well as my oldest sister and her husband, flew in to help me accomplish the monumental endeavor in just five days. After they left, my youngest sister flew in to help organize all the boxes that were hauled and stacked haphazardly in my garage. It was heartwarming to see my siblings come together to honor the things of value that were revered by our mother.

• It felt so good to be surrounded by family, even though my siblings only stayed for a short time. I had forgotten how much they meant to me and how I am still—and always will be—connected to them. I also realized I was still harboring animosity toward their lack of support, inconsideration, and unrealistic expectations.

• Since all of my siblings were unable to be here with me, I chose to energetically release, through visualization, and heal the harm they caused me.

• Knowing that one’s mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imaginary made it possible for me to visualize my sisters and brother—as if they are physically standing in front of me—saying, “We’re sorry for not putting ourselves in your shoes and granting you the compensation you deserved. We’re ready to do that now. Please, let us know what works for you.” Then I visualized my sister who had denied me compensation, ask, “How can we make it up to you?”

• The thought that they could make it up to me and remove completely all the harm and all the hurt feelings, made me so, so happy. I could feel them honoring my contribution to our mother, acknowledging me for my sacrifices, and in unison all agreeing that it WAS truly worthy of significant compensation.

• As I visualized myself accepting their authentic amends, I knew the way to integrate the much-deserved acknowledgment into my life was to do something extra special FOR MYSELF with my friends. This healed my heart and made it possible for me to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship with all of my siblings.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Brothers and sisters are special. They fight. They make up. They laugh. They cry. They’re far from perfect. But when you really need them, they have your back.” ~ Helen M. Barry

It’s amazing that intimate relationships happen at all.

Intimate relationships take courage and resilience. They are the riskiest of all relationships in our lives. They demand priority and they involve your whole heart.

Intimate partners include: your first love, boyfriends, girlfriends, live-in partners, husbands, wives, significant others, and anyone else you consider an intimate partner.

We all grew up witnessing many aspects of our parents’ relationship, some of which were less than optimal. Your parents may have shown each other love, affection, kindness, generosity, and forgiveness, or you may have witnessed physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and even financial abuse.

As children, we develop conclusions about what constitutes intimate relationships and how they work. Often, we mirror the characteristics of our parents’ relationship or we choose the exact opposite type of behavior when interacting with a partner.

In the day to day of intimate relationships, things happen that leave us feeling hurt, bitter, resentful, angry, betrayed, or even vengeful. When we keep these feelings inside and don’t heal the wounds, the relationship is doomed to fail.

According to Bert Hellinger, one of the most painful experiences in a relationship is when you realize that the other person is giving back less than you are giving, and you are more invested in the relationship than they are.

When relationships end—especially when betrayal is involved—we shut our hearts and there’s no room to cultivate a healthy loving relationship. Any new person has no chance with us because we are projecting the previous relationship onto them. It’s of paramount importance that we heal the broken relationships from our past in order to move forward.

When you consider there are many reasons such as, substance abuse, being inconsiderate and disrespectful, low self-esteem, lack of impulse control, trust issues, jealousy, etc.—which are not necessarily intentional—you can grant your intimate partners forgiveness with more compassion for their hurtful reactions and behaviors.

This is how I healed my relationship with an intimate partner.

• When I met Larry at work and our eyes met, it was love at first sight. We were both Juniors and attended the same high school. I remember it being a whirlwind romance leading up to him asking me to our Junior/Senior Prom. I was beyond delighted, all dressed up in a flowing formal gown with a delicate corsage of pink roses that matched my dress, being escorted by a handsome, athletic young man in a black tuxedo.

• Over the summer, we remained devoted and committed. We went everywhere together, swimming in a nearby lake, riding bikes along the river, and hiking secluded woodland trails. Our relationship was the envy of all my girlfriends. Everything we did seemed beyond affectionate and very romantic, so much so, that he became my first lover.

• Before we knew it, summer was over and we were back at school, the leaves were falling, and winter was blowing in from the north. Larry was such a demonstrative guy. He carried my books, helped me put on my fur-lined coat. He treated me like a queen for all to see.

• That year the holidays flew by. Thanksgiving with my family was amazing, followed by the most awesome Christmas of my life. Before we knew it, Spring was here and our lunch hours were being spent at a friend’s house across the street from the school so we could be together—alone.

• One day another girl showed up at the house. When she saw Larry and I coming out of a bedroom, she exploded, “What are you doing with her? I thought you loved me.” I was shocked and humiliated. I had no idea Larry was seeing anyone else while we were dating.

• The cat was out of the bag. He was playing both of us! I felt so hurt and betrayed! At the time, I was so head over heels in love with him that—rather than breaking up with him—I demanded that he choose, “It’s me or her.” I assumed he would choose me—I was wrong, he chose her. Ouch!

• Over the next few days, it was difficult to see him at work. I had a hard time controlling my emotions. I cried and cried. Even though he tried to comfort me, I wanted no part of his sympathy. I nevertheless did relent to meet with him because I wanted to talk about his lying, betrayal, and infidelity.

• By this time, it was weeks away from graduation. He was planning to go to college nearby, and I was planning to pursue a career in radiology as an X-ray technician at a local hospital. I was clear that I did not want to get back together with someone who wasn’t honest and would cheat on me, but I wanted to know why. Why did he feel the need to thoughtlessly break my heart? And yet, on some level, I didn’t want to know.

• We met Saturday after work at the park. My heart was in my throat. I could barely say, “I’m not responsible for what happened—you are. What were you thinking?”

• He began by saying, “I’m sorry for lying and cheating on you. I was a total jerk. You didn’t deserve that. Can we still be friends? How can I make it up to you?”

• I said, “Friends? I don’t think so. You chose her! There’s NOTHING you can do to make it up to me, but I do accept your apology.”

• Be that as it may, accepting his apology was enough to heal the indelicate way my first romance ended. It allowed me to embrace the wonderful love-at-first-sight memories I experienced, so that I could love again with an open heart.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“You’ll never know how strong your heart is until you learn to forgive who broke it.” ~ Author Unknown