Accessing Your Self-Expression Through Communication

Dancing coupleAnything can be resolved in communication. Withholding communication or not speaking your truth may show up in your body, affect your clarity of mind, shape your emotional well-being, and impact your spiritual connection. Taking responsibility and letting other people know what is really going on with you can resolve conflict, deepen intimacy and closeness, and free you to be truly connected with others.

Honoring yourself, speaking your truth, and expressing your natural way of being includes asking powerfully for what you need, voicing your wants, desires, and longings, letting others know what you will and will not do, and honestly answering yes or no when others ask you to do something.

One very powerful communication principle is to take responsibility—in the moment—for how you perceive challenging situations. It’s not always easy when you’re emotionally activated to take ownership for your attitude, words, and actions—however, doing so can deepen your relationship with others.

An effective method I have used to express responsibility in my communication is what I call a do-over.

One day my late beloved Bernie walked through the door right after I had a frustrating conversation with the phone company. I was very angry and snapped at him as he came in the door. I immediately knew that was not how I wanted to greet him, and he didn’t deserve that. So, I paused and took a deep breath and said, “I am so sorry for blasting you when you came in. I am really glad you are here. Can we have a do over? If you could please go back outside and return in about two minutes, I will greet you from the love I have for you in my heart.” He answered, “Sure.” He left, came back in and said, “Hi, honey, how are you doing?” I replied, “Hi, honey, it’s great to see you. Actually, I just got off the phone with the phone company and I am very angry right now. I need a few more minutes to cool off so I can get back to normal and really be with you.” He responded, “Okay, no problem; if you want my input about the phone company, I’d be glad to help you.” I said, “Thanks.” I took five minutes and when I came out, I was able to listen to his perspective, it turned out to be one I could embrace and apply. The rest of my time with Bernie that evening was delicious and delightful. The icing on the cake was getting a different response the following day when I called the phone company back. Coming from my heart instead of my head made a noticeable difference.

Resonance Repatterning 

This is where Resonance Repatterning® comes in. This method, developed by Chloe Faith Wordsworth, releases the resonance with fears you may have regarding speaking your truth, asking powerfully for what you need, as well as, voicing your wants, desires, and longings. It also releases generational beliefs and unconscious conclusions and patterns that keep you from letting others know what you will and will not do, and honestly answering yes or no when others ask you to do something. You may want to consider going to the Repatterning Practitioners Association website and choosing a certified practitioner you feel guided to working with and give them a call. You’ll be amazed at the results

May the wisdom inside you take you on a journey into your heart where your greatness abides. Now, that’s living a heart-centered, extraordinary life!

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

 Healer, Speaker, Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, What Would Love Do Right Now?  A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

What Would Love Do Right Now in Your Self-Expression?

Dancing coupleWhen you are self-expressed, you live life from the essence of who you are without much attention on yourself. You are so present in the moment, being who you are, that your inner critic is silenced, the constant flood of thoughts, ideas, and opinions in your mind slows down, and you’re fully alive just doing your thing—whether that be dancing, playing guitar, making love, hiking in nature, expressing your truth with another, meditating in communion with your divine self, or simply being grateful for your life.

Accessing Your Self-Expression Through Creativity

As you move into having a more balanced life, be sure you’re honoring all the areas of life that are important to you—work, family, hobbies, friends, education, relationship, and remember to include creativity. Give yourself permission to take an art class, learn gourmet cooking, make some furniture, write a travel blog, re-build a classic car, design a new landscape—whatever stirs your creativity. It is essential to embrace the very things that spark your passion to support you in living a more meaningful, satisfying, fun, and fully self-expressed life.

I found a way to access my own creativity when I realized my life was totally out of balance. Although I was highly successful and living the dream, I felt disconnected, overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted.

About twenty years ago, I felt like my entire life was doing- doing-doing, work-work-work, focus-focus-focus—always having to be in charge, on task, totally responsible, no breaks, no opportunity to have some fun and express any other part of myself.

One day it occurred to me that in my twenties I loved dancing at the great clubs in Chicago, and perhaps learning to ballroom dance now could provide the opportunity to permit someone else to be in charge—my partner would do the leading and I would be able to relax and follow. When I started taking lessons, I tapped into my innate ability to create balance, go with the flow, unwind, and allow fun in my life again. I opened myself to something new and discovered the freedom to be my true self. Within six months, I was making new friends, meeting the love of my life, traveling, participating in local dance competitions—winning in every category. I was also more passionate about my connection with my clients and excited about expanding my business. Although I no longer compete, I still enjoy expressing my creativity through country and ballroom dancing.

Resonance Repatterning

This is where Resonance Repatterning® comes in. This method, developed by Chloe Faith Wordsworth, releases the resonance with any limiting beliefs you have about your creativity and any performance anxiety that no longer serve you. It also allows you to heal wounds from past harmful experiences when you were made fun of and ridiculed when you were expressing your creativity. You may want to consider going to the Repatterning Practitioners Association website and choosing a certified practitioner you feel guided to working with and give them a call. You’ll be amazed at the results.

May the wisdom inside you take you on a journey into your heart where your greatness abides. Now, that’s living a heart-centered, extraordinary life!

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

 Healer, Speaker, Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, What Would Love Do Right Now?  A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

What Would Love Do Right Now, in Your Professional Relationships?

Wherever you are right now in your career, business, or job is just that—it’s where you are. You may be judging where you are by saying to yourself, “I should be further along at this age. What went wrong?” Each time you put yourself down, you stop the flow. Or perhaps you have the perfect job and you’re thinking, “I love my job and I hope it never changes.” Consider that change is inevitable and that this point of view may also stop the flow by preventing you from seizing new opportunities.

By examining what consistently occurs in your work life that blocks your path to success—being bypassed for promotion; harassed; treated unjustly; expected to take on every task offered; less than fairly compensated; or volunteering to do more than you can handle—you can then take action toward fulfilling your professional goals.

Along the way, you may also recall some negative messages you heard from your parents and influential adults in your life, like the following:

“To provide for your family and get a pension, you have to work for thirty years at the same job, even if you don’t like it.”

“I didn’t go to college. I’m not paying for you to go. Get a job.”

“Girls can’t be doctors. / Boys can’t be nurses.”

“The only way to make real money is to run your own business.”

“You’re not talented enough to be in the movies.”

You are where you are because of the decisions you made based on limiting messages, past experiences, as well as unconscious conclusions and patterns. Identifying these decisions will help you understand why you are where you are today, and how they impact your work relationships with co- workers, bosses, employees, and clients.

This is where Resonance Repatterning® comes in. This method, developed by Chloe Faith Wordsworth, releases the resonance with limiting messages you’ve heard, the resulting poor decisions you made, as well as, the unconscious conclusions and patterns that ensued. It can also help you to heal wounds from past harmful work experiences. You may want to consider going to the Repatterning Practitioners Association website and choosing a certified practitioner you feel guided to working with and give them a call. You’ll be amazed at the results.

May the wisdom inside you take you on a journey into your heart where your greatness abides. Now, that’s living a heart-centered, extraordinary life!

Lovingly Submitted, Victoria Benoit, M.C.

 Healer, Speaker, Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, What Would Love Do Right Now?  A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life.

What Would Love Do Right Now in Your Romantic Relationships?

A loving romantic relationship can be one of your most sacred experiences—as well as the most risky. Given the rewards, it is always worth the risk. I love the statement from Erica Jong’s book, How to Save Your Own Life — “Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”

My philosophy about intimate relationships is that when you make a commitment to love, everything unlike love arises to be released and healed. Your reaction to what arises originates from unresolved issues, idealized concepts of romance, and conclusions you came to through observing your parents’ relationship. Every romantic relationship you have will reflect and reinforce these issues, concepts, and conclusions until you release and heal them. You will then have an opportunity to experience the very love you desire.

Your Parents’ Relationship

Examining the relationship your parents had, can provide insight into your experience of love and romance. How did they treat one another? Were they loving? Did they argue a lot? What was happening at significant ages while you were growing up? How did their relationship influence you?

As a child, you witnessed your parents’ interactions and made decisions about romantic relationships based on those observations. We tend to have romantic relationships that are either just like our parents’ or the exact opposite. For example, if your parents argued a lot, you may have decided that love is confrontational, so your relationships are tumultuous, violent, or chaotic. Perhaps one parent was weak and the other was domineering, so you decided the key to a winning relationship is to be equal in every way. Maybe your parents were overly affectionate, and you decided that a romantic partner must be lovey-dovey or they don’t love you.

Remember, in your healing process, you are not pointing a finger at your parents or blaming them for the way your relationships turned out. You are identifying how YOU responded to what happened between them and the conclusions YOU came to about romantic relationships. The good news is, since you drew the conclusions—YOU can change them.

Your Romantic Relationships

Remember, you ARE love. Being LOVE is allowing yourself to be who you are and who you are not; and accepting your partner for who they are and who they are not. It isn’t always easy. However, it is essential if you want to experience an intimate relationship beyond what you think is possible. BEING love is the greatest gift you can bring to your relationship.

The concepts of being present and getting gotten are particularly powerful in creating affinity and intimacy in romantic relationships. It’s what was so extraordinary in my relationship with my late Beloved Bernie.

In the beginning of our relationship, Bernie understandably wanted to know about my past relationships. I told him, “I’ll share my past experiences with you, if you will celebrate who I’ve become as a result of healing my past and changing my old behaviors.” He lovingly said, “Yes, I can do that.” This started a wonderful foundation of love and respect. I also let him know; he had the best me yet!

This was the first relationship I’d ever been in where the love got deeper and stronger and better over time, rather than worse. What was different? I was different! I was less serious, more playful, more patient, kind, understanding, and loving. I also took responsibility for my part in a situation sooner than I had done before. It was very humbling at times, but always rewarding.

Developing a foundation of intimacy requires a willingness to tell your partner what’s really going on with you; to care about what’s going on with them; to share deep aspects of yourself—especially those things you don’t want anyone else to know or ever find out—and to listen to them share things that you’re not sure you want to hear.

Everything is relational. You’re in relationship with everything and everyone. Your intimate romantic relationship can be either a source of fun and pleasure or pain and suffering. To have extraordinary intimate relationships, it is essential that you heal wounds you’re holding onto from past relationships.

This is where Resonance Repatterning® comes in. This method, developed by Chloe Faith Wordsworth, releases the resonance with unresolved issues, idealized concepts of romance, and conclusions you came to through observing your parents’ relationship. It also allows you to heal wounds you’re holding onto from past relationships. You may want to consider going to the Repatterning Practitioners Association website and choosing a certified practitioner you feel guided to working with and give them a call. You’ll be amazed at the results.

May the wisdom inside you take you on a journey into your heart where your greatness abides. Now, that’s living a heart-centered, extraordinary life!

Lovingly Submitted, Victoria Benoit, M.C.                                                                    

Healer, Speaker, Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, What Would Love Do Right Now?  A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life.

What Would Love Do Right Now in Your Formative Relationships?

As a newborn baby, you smell so good and feel so soft. You are kissable and huggable. You express yourself fully, holding nothing back. Even when you fill your diaper, others see it as an accomplishment.

Newborn babies are so miraculous. They are fresh, untouched, and unscathed by life, love, boys, girls, parents, school, other kids, or siblings. They are pure and precious. Each of us enters the world in this state.

So, what happened? When does this begin to change for us? What happened is life in its fullest measure with all its giving and taking, its longings, disappointments, pleasures, pains, hurt, trauma, abuse, and even death. Over time, we become hardened, dry, unexpressive, angry, bitter, and mean; sometimes we even get abusive. You may not know any other way to be; you may take things out on others around you, especially those you love the most, and the cycle continues. You may be asking, “Is this all there is? There has to be more to life than this.” I am here to tell you…there is!

Your Relationship with Your Parents

Loving and being loved fully starts by healing your relationship with your parents. It’s never too late, even if they are deceased or no longer in your life. Most of your current reality stems from unresolved past experiences while growing up with your parent(s) or primary caregiver(s).

As a young child, the world was all about you and you believed everything bad that happened was YOUR FAULT. For example: if your mother was crying, it was your fault; if your father was angry, it was your fault; if your parents divorced, it was your fault. As a result, you may have thought, “If I were more helpful, my mother wouldn’t be sad,” “If I were quieter, my father wouldn’t yell,” or “If I behaved better, they wouldn’t get divorced.”

As a teenager, you may have shifted the blame to your parents believing every bad thing that happened to you was THEIR FAULT. For example: if your boyfriend broke up with you, it was somehow your mother’s fault; if you didn’t make the team, it was somehow your father’s fault; if you failed your driver’s test, it was somehow your parents’ fault. As a result, you may have thought, “There’s something wrong with me,” “I’m unlovable,” or “I can’t count on anyone.”

As an adult, you may have come to understand that your parents did the best they could, and yet they were less than ideal parents. Like you, your parents were once children. They also experienced many unmet needs, disappointments, hurts, betrayals, and feelings that were never resolved. Like you, out of these unresolved experiences, they drew negative conclusions and developed beliefs about themselves, others, relationships, finances, and life in general, such as: “I’m unworthy and don’t deserve anything good,” “Men hurt me/Women smother me,” or “Life is unsafe and scary.”

It’s important to note that your parents behaved as if these conclusions, beliefs, and judgments were true—they could not be or act any other way— and neither can you.

However, if your inner child is still harboring feelings of hurt and betrayal, or any experiences of neglect, abandonment, or abuse, resolving them— putting them in the past where they belong—can free you to be the person you know you can be.

It’s important to identify and change your resonance with the earlier experiences, the unresolved feelings, and conclusions you came to about yourself, others, and life that are currently keeping you from attaining the extraordinary life you are here to live.

It is never too late to have a great relationship with your parents.

Your Relationship with Others

While you were growing up, in addition to your relationship with your parent(s), your relationships with other people also continue to have an impact on how you relate to others in your day-to-day life.

Consider, as a child, there were moments in your relationships with your playmates or siblings when you may have felt jealous, superior, protective, rejected, shamed, etc. Also, you may have felt forced to interact and be on your best behavior with other family members—grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. During your school years, how your teachers and coaches related to you may have had a significant effect on your beliefs about your own intelligence, capacity to learn, and ability to compete. All of these relationships continue to affect how you relate to yourself and others, your self-confidence, as well as your view of life today.

This is where Resonance Repatterning® comes in. This method, developed by Chloe Faith Wordsworth, releases the resonance with unresolved harmful experiences, the unmet life needs, along with the resulting feelings and beliefs. You may want to consider going to the Repatterning Practitioners Association website and choosing a certified practitioner you feel guided to working with and give them a call. You’ll be amazed at the results.

May the wisdom inside you take you on a journey into your heart where your greatness abides. Now, that’s living a heart-centered, extraordinary life!

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.                                                                                                          

Healer, Speaker, Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, What Would Love Do Right Now?  A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life.

Four Steps to Making Amends

Making amends is about others and restoring those relationships that you have broken or damaged. The desire to make amends arises when you’re willing to take responsibility for what happened and the impact it had on those involved. It’s not suitable for everyday mishaps—it’s best used for significant incidents that warrant extra consideration and may simply depend on the importance of the relationship.

When you harm others and make no effort to repair the relationship, you tend to avoid those people and large areas of your life become closed off. When you begin making amends, you have the opportunity to restore your relationships and have those areas open up again.

Seeking to mend a relationship involves forgiving yourself, offering a sincere apology, making necessary restitution, and accepting responsibility by taking steps to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

Step 1: Forgiving Yourself

Being able to make amends to others starts with forgiving yourself. In his tiny buddha® blog Michael Davidson says, “Forgiving yourself is far more challenging than forgiving someone else, because you must live with yourself and your thoughts 24/7.”

When you’ve done something you consider wrong, the accompanying emotion registers in your nervous system. For example, you may feel guilty if you mistreated someone; or you may feel sad, if you made a mistake that cost you a friendship. When these emotions register, they usually contribute to negative thoughts and limiting beliefs you have about yourself, like “I can’t do anything right,” or “I’m a bad person.”

More than anything else, forgiving yourself requires that you acknowledge your actions have consequences for yourself and others. However, any attempt to forgive yourself—before letting go of the negative emotions and beliefs—won’t work. You’ll just continue to berate yourself, because your nervous system is in control.

Step 2: Offering a Sincere Apology

In order for an apology to be effective, it must be genuine and go to the heart of the matter for the person you wronged. Consider carefully what you’re going to say. Be accountable—don’t make excuses or deflect blame. Be sure to include the crucial words, I’m sorry.

  • State what happened.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pay you back when I promised I would.”

  • Acknowledge the impact your actions had on the other person to show that you fully understand.

“I know it was my fault that you had to cancel your vacation.”

  • Express your desire to restore this relationship.

“Our relationship means a lot to me.”

Step 3: Making Restitution

Whether you’ve robbed someone of time, money, property, trust, attention, dignity, or well-being, it’s important to do what you can to restore that which you’ve taken.

The essence of restitution is finding out what the other person needs and determining if, and when, you can provide that. It starts with an inquiry.

  • Ask what the person needs from you to restore the relationship.

“How can I make it up to you?”

Then, let the other person respond. Just listen. If the request is ethical and you’re willing to fulfill on it, you have two options:

  • Agree to their request and time frame.

“I can do that when I get paid on Friday.”

  • Suggest an alternative if you’re unable to comply.

“I can’t pay you in full now, but I will make weekly payments.”

Step 4: Accepting Responsibility

Accepting responsibility is about making a genuine change in your behavior and taking on a whole new way of living.

Everyone has made mistakes, but the only mistakes that will undermine your happiness are the ones you’re unwilling to admit.

Be honest in expressing what you’ve learned from this mistake. This helps the other person trust that you’re sincerely making amends for your past behavior. Describe the ways in which you’re making changes in your life to refrain from repeating the wrongdoing.

  • Admit your transgression.

“I was wrong to take your money and not honor my agreement.”

  • Tell what you’ve learned.

“I’ve learned that I’ve been totally unreliable about money.”

  • Declare any action(s) you’re taking.

“I’m participating in a debt management course, and I’m having 10% of my paycheck directly deposited into a savings account.”

Keep it simple. A long apology will start to lose its power. Make your points clearly and effectively.

Give the other person time to respond. Grant them the space, time, and freedom to vent, if necessary. Be willing to listen without judgment and accept their point of view, even if some of their perceptions of the situation seem inaccurate. They have every right to feel the way they feel.

Keep in mind, although making amends can free you, it doesn’t always mean that the relationship will be restored—or that the process will be sufficient for the other person to forgive you.

In the Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12-Step program, Step 9 states, “Make direct amends to those people you have harmed wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” When direct amends is not possible or appropriate, there are many ways to complete the four-step process without personal contact. For example: you could write the person a letter; you could imagine yourself having a conversation with the other person; you could create a collage. Your mind does not know the difference between what is real and imagined, which is why visualization is so powerful.

You will be amazed how clean the slate becomes by making amends. Remember to be gentle with yourself throughout the process.

If someone is making amends to you, let them. Be generous and be gracious. Refrain from making the restitution you request out of proportion with what they did.

This is where Resonance Repatterning® comes in. This method, developed by Chloe Faith Wordsworth, releases the resonance with any unhealed parts of yourself that would keep you from forgiving yourself and/or others. You may want to consider going to the Repatterning Practitioners Association website and choosing a certified practitioner you feel guided to working with and give them a call. You’ll be amazed at the results.

May the wisdom inside you take you on a journey into your heart where your greatness abides. Now, that’s living a heart-centered, extraordinary life!

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Healer, Speaker, Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, What Would Love Do Right Now?  A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life.

You Are Love

What is Love?

There are many types of love: love of self, love of your work, love of your parents who gave you life, love of your friends, love of your children, and love of your pets. Then there is romantic love, love of country, and love of God. Each has a different meaning and unique experience. Throughout history, many have attempted to define love. There are biological theories, cultural theories, and psychological theories about various types and styles of love. You name it and someone has written about it. I believe the word love can be used in the process of transforming many areas of your life.

The love I’m speaking about is a heart-centered love—the primal essence of love that permeates all life. It is moving from your head to your heart, surrendering your ego and moving into compassion, understanding, and a deep sense of caring. Asking yourself, “What would love do right now?” from this place, allows you to be more loving in all your interactions.

When two lovers are making love, looking into one another’s eyes and relishing the moment of bliss, they are sharing their experience together so completely that for them nothing else is happening in the entire world. They are engaging in the primal essence of love, shutting out the outer world— nothing intrudes. They are being present in the moment.

I hope you’ve had this experience. If not, maybe you’ve experienced the pure essence of love with a puppy or a newborn baby. This is unconditional love at its finest.

Now that you know the type of love I’m talking about, are you ready to experience it again, or for the very first time? It’s really a choice. However, if you have unhealed incidents from the past, it may not feel like you have a choice. This is where Resonance Repatterning® comes in. This method was developed by Chloe faith Wordsworth, and has been my saving grace since 1989. It releases the resonance with any unhealed parts of yourself that would keep you from experiencing the unconditional love of which I am speaking. You may want to consider going to the Repatterning Practitioners Association website and choosing a certified practitioner you feel guided to working with and give them a call. You’ll be amazed at the results.

You Are Love

Knowing that you ARE love can change the course of your life forever. You can never separate yourself from love—ever! Nevertheless, it may seem as though you’re separate. It is time to awaken to the love you are—to universal love, the primal essence of love that permeates all life.

Sometimes we feel like love is missing and we look to others to provide it. Actually, look no further, you have everything you need—you are love.

What would life be like if you were to wake up and love governed all of your actions and decisions? What would you do, as love? You might start your day by looking in the mirror and saying, “I love you.” Perhaps you would meditate or journal in a sacred space. As love, you could jog, walk, or tend your garden in the morning sunlight. You might take some time to go to breakfast with friends or pick up chocolate-covered donuts on the way to work. When you bring the love you are—to all areas of your life throughout your day—love is what you will experience moment by moment.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.                                                                                                          Healer, Speaker, Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, What Would Love Do Right Now?  A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life.

Laughing and the color Red

“You need to laugh” she said, as I lay there barely able to breathe, bandages tightly wrapped around my chest.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. There’s no way,” I said weakly.
She continued checking what I needed. Then she looked at my other sisters sitting there and told them, “She needs the color red” …

In Resonance Repatterning©, we do some powerful modalities. Are they hard or complicated? Do you need special training to be able to do them? My sister and I had been taking Resonance Repatterning© classes. Had we learned enough to really help me through a tough time?

I’d just had major surgery – a mastectomy for breast cancer. The day after  surgery, I could not keep down even ice chips. I could barely stay awake. They said it’s because my body is having a reaction to the anesthesia.

…. My 2nd sister jumped up and started running around the room looking for something red. Then everyone was looking for red things. I began snickering. Suddenly, she grabbed a crayon from her daughter and told me to stick it in my nose. I burst out laughing. 

Well, there’s my laughing modality, I thought. I was feeling better… but I was not done yet.  My sister doing the muscle checking said to me, “You need an ECR”…

An ECR or Energy Constriction Release is pretty much just like it sounds – releasing energy that is constricted in the body. Identifying the feeling holding the energy stuck is the key.

…She muscle checked where the constricted energy was being held, and then, she held her hand near my armpit, by my breast. The exact spot where my lymph nodes had been removed. She looked at me and said, “Deby, it feels like a fan is blowing on my hand.”  After a couple minutes, she removed her hand. “It’s complete.”

I sat up in bed. The energy of everyone in the room was spiraling up. The urine from my catheter bag had been bright blue. Now, they noticed, it is bright green. Yellow and blue make green, right? The anesthesia had left my system! We were all ecstatic!

You might think my sister had years of experience giving sessions. The truth is my sister and I had been to only two basic classes. The fact is that we had not even been taught the ECR in class yet. She simply followed the directions. 

This is an example of how simple and yet powerful a session and the energizing options in Resonance Repatterning© can be.

Deby Youngquist

Bringing ourselves back to life

Most of us didn’t have our essential needs met as children and life often felt threatening. When we felt unwelcome, unloved, unheard or unseen, and we were unable to express this, we shut down, stopped breathing or moving freely. In the Resonance Repatterning process, the energy constriction release is like a beautiful piece of ritual theatre, where our younger selves can experience a sense of safety and nurturing. We are supported to breathe into whatever we are feeling, stay embodied, free the flow of our life energy and embrace our innocence. We receive the update that we are not alone anymore, that we now have the support we need and are encouraged to experience the joy of being our true selves, of being natural, free of the fear of rejection or the illusion of separation. This is self love and acceptance.

We all have the same core needs. Many of our problems come from the belief we are alone, disconnected, and our pain is unique to us. We hide in shame and reach for unfulfilling substitutes. We can choose to break this cycle and free ourselves from our prisons of isolation. From my own experience, nothing is worse than the scenarios my fearful mind conjures up. Yet when I have risked intimacy, revealing the aspects of myself I felt most ashamed of, it has often been surprisingly enjoyable.

Rather than repeating our stories, or going through the motions in our relationships, we can create lasting transformation and move beyond blaming and complaining, beyond the old human story of victim, persecutor and rescuer. We can step into the awareness of our interconnection and the freedom of taking responsibility for every choice we make. We can find out what we are unconsciously committed to, and make the necessary changes. These tiny shifts in perspective ripple out and affect the whole.

Life is precious and we matter. When we can relax into being held, dare to breathe and feel whatever arises, let our bodies move and our voices sound, we reclaim our aliveness.

Resonance Repatterning is not the only way to do this, of course, however, it is a powerful, gentle, elegant, creative and playful way.

http://ecstaticresonance.strikingly.com/

Be the Change in the World

As international Women’s Day approached this month, I found myself reflecting on how 2017 was quite the year for regular media announcements about women’s rights and women’s equality or the lack of it.
What has seemed different though is the strength of the female voice that has arisen recently. We have had social media for a while now so what has changed, I wonder.

Did we reach a tipping point?
Was that it?

Was it that so many women spoke out, that they were heard by enough others that even those who had until then been quiet, ended up speaking out, too?

Now in the USA training in sexual harassment is taking off in an unprecedented way, and lawyers have more lawsuits on their hands, but little fundamental change is really occurring if you read what those involved are saying …
and little real change will occur until societies norms change.

Norms arise from what we believe and all over the world women have been in second place and their fundamental rights ignored for centuries. Even when we think we have become enlightened we find out that we have not moved on that much. Deep underneath, our unconscious beliefs govern our behavior and it is not until these patterns clear and positive uplifting ones are put in place of the old ones, that we have a chance of transforming our norms.

No matter how much we might protest, what governs what comes into our lives are our unconscious beliefs. Those beliefs that we are unaware of …. the ones we have and are not aware we live by, the ones that are there deep down from previous generations of women who felt powerless to challenge the status quo and whose physical survival depended on the men in their lives. The ones from earlier generations, from our mother’s and our father’s family lines.

So when international women’s day came around on the 8th March this year, and in view of all the unrest I’d witnessed, I found myself taking the only kind of action that I knew could make a difference to the plight of women around the world. I chose to do a Resonance Repatterning session.

In Resonance Repatterning, of the many processes we have for change or transforming negative patterns, we have one called “Intention for a New possibility”. This is an exercise for setting what you want to happen in the short, medium or long term ….. in your life, your work, your relationships, in all areas.

Because we are all connected no matter how near or how far, we can use one person as a proxy for everyone else. In Resonance Repatterning, we first identify all aspects of the change we want to make, and then we find the healing modality that will enable the shift to occur and later check how the resonance has changed. Because we are all connected, we also have the potential to connect with each other and feel any change that occurs.

On 8th March, when my Resonance Repatterning colleague, Sophia Avramides, and I conducted an Intention for a New Possibility session for women around the world, the statement that emerged was:

“We close the gender gap in pay around the world. Everyone receives equal pay for equal work regardless of gender, age, race or anything else”

At the start of the session, we were not resonating with this intention; at the end of the session, after identifying all of the different aspects and after doing the modality for change, we were resonating with closing the gender gap in pay around the world and everyone receiving equal pay for equal work regardless of gender, age, race or anything else. Beautiful!
You can listen to a recording of the session and also get a pdf document of the same by going to this write up at the World Peace Hologram website.

Here I want to write more about the healing modality that came up for the session. Through muscle testing we identified that the Hatha Yoga Lion Pose was needed, and at the end of the session it also came up as a positive action.
When a post session positive action comes up, it does so to embed the energy shift that has already taken place. In this case though what was most unusual was that it came up to repeat this every day until the end of the month – another twenty three days.

My thought about this was that the shift that was needed around the world through the many different cultural beliefs and norms was so enormous, that the energy needed to keep being amplified, one person at a time, all around the globe until we were all connected.

Can you imagine all of us connecting in this way ….

with the same positive action,

one highly visible easy to do pose?

 

It’s as if we have been given a gift to exercise our ability to take part in world wide change. Imagine if we all believed that quantum change were possible, perfectly easy and instantaneously possible.

I am smiling at the thought of all the Lions and all the Lionesses around the world sticking out their tongues, old and young, big and small, all glaring at each other, claws out, paws pointing, roaring and releasing all the anger and frustration of the centuries …. and then letting go of and allowing relaxation to take over ….. each muscle letting go, and a wave of relaxation starting from around the eyes and cheek bones, moving to the jaw, throat and neck and all the way through the shoulders, arms, hand and fingers …. ending with hands now relaxed and calmly resting on your knees, happy to be still and in a comfortable place.

What image comes into your mind when you see this intention being realised …. We close the gender gap in pay around the world. Everyone receives equal pay for equal work regardless of gender, age, race or anything else!!!

We know that thoughts, images, ideas and intentions create our reality.
Think and therefore it is.

Thank you for doing the Lion Pose with us 🙂

 Thank you for changing reality!

** If you would like to comment on how it felt to do the Lion Pose – join us at our Facebook Group called “Universal Resonance”. We’re hoping to collect comments and images from all over in that one place. If you’re inspired to share with friends, use hashtags on your personal facebook or twitter accounts – like #RRLionPose #WomensDay #RRIntentionNewPossibility