Tag: depression

Bringing ourselves back to life

Most of us didn’t have our essential needs met as children and life often felt threatening. When we felt unwelcome, unloved, unheard or unseen, and we were unable to express this, we shut down, stopped breathing or moving freely. In the Resonance Repatterning process, the energy constriction release is like a beautiful piece of ritual theatre, where our younger selves can experience a sense of safety and nurturing. We are supported to breathe into whatever we are feeling, stay embodied, free the flow of our life energy and embrace our innocence. We receive the update that we are not alone anymore, that we now have the support we need and are encouraged to experience the joy of being our true selves, of being natural, free of the fear of rejection or the illusion of separation. This is self love and acceptance.

We all have the same core needs. Many of our problems come from the belief we are alone, disconnected, and our pain is unique to us. We hide in shame and reach for unfulfilling substitutes. We can choose to break this cycle and free ourselves from our prisons of isolation. From my own experience, nothing is worse than the scenarios my fearful mind conjures up. Yet when I have risked intimacy, revealing the aspects of myself I felt most ashamed of, it has often been surprisingly enjoyable.

Rather than repeating our stories, or going through the motions in our relationships, we can create lasting transformation and move beyond blaming and complaining, beyond the old human story of victim, persecutor and rescuer. We can step into the awareness of our interconnection and the freedom of taking responsibility for every choice we make. We can find out what we are unconsciously committed to, and make the necessary changes. These tiny shifts in perspective ripple out and affect the whole.

Life is precious and we matter. When we can relax into being held, dare to breathe and feel whatever arises, let our bodies move and our voices sound, we reclaim our aliveness.

Resonance Repatterning is not the only way to do this, of course, however, it is a powerful, gentle, elegant, creative and playful way.

http://ecstaticresonance.strikingly.com/

Revolution from the inside out

Before experiencing Resonance Repatterning in 2000 my inner compass was set to terror, rage, grief, self hatred, shame and worthlessness. Life felt pointless with the odd moment of relief. Now it’s the opposite and however challenging my outer circumstances are, my inner state is one of calm joy, along with a deep appreciation of being alive. I still have the odd moment when I forget I have a choice but I’ve almost forgotten how desperate I used to feel. It is not an exaggeration to say I believe it has saved my life.

To put it simply, I just feel better. Better than I thought possible. As it is for so many of us, my life began with trauma. I was taken from my mother immediately after birth. I spent most of the first two months of my life alone. I was adopted and then experienced years of violence and abuse on all levels. When I was at my most helpless I felt severely let down. I didn’t know what it was like to feel relaxed, held by life or welcomed. I had received a clear message that I was unloveable and was here to be punished. I lived this reality long after the external abuse had stopped. I moulded myself to be liked by others because it felt like a matter of life and death. When I was a baby and a small child, it was. Mostly that meant keeping quiet, making myself as small and invisible as possible. I used to numb myself with a whole array of addictions. Those early experiences, especially the first two months of life and certainly the first four years set the scene and the patterns formed then keep on repeating, for better or worse, unless we choose to interrupt them.

Thanks to Resonance Repatterning I’ve gradually switched my focus to self acceptance and self love. Some people like me, some don’t, either way I’m ok, it’s no longer a matter of survival. I survived. You survived too if you’re reading this. These ways of being kept us alive and are now simply outdated. Now we are free to create a sense of safety so we can welcome back younger parts of ourselves that shut down or split off. We’re now free to be who we are at our core and to do what truly makes our hearts sing. Because I resonated with these patterns, that is what I experienced. Even when I met people who did love me, I wasn’t able to receive the love. I know now how treasured by life I am, how much we all are and it feels gorgeous. I now have an inner mother and father who nurture my child aspect and it finally feels safe enough to land in my body.

What has made the difference is the support to be with painful feelings and access the courage to breathe into them, feel and release them, move with them as they naturally transform; along with lots of shaking to release trauma stored in the body. The first year or so was intense transformation then it became more gradual, with lots of stops and starts until I finally let go and decided to trust life. It wasn’t a linear process. More like a spiral. When I choose to use these tools they work.

Being an active participant with the RPA this past year has brought so much more confidence and I’ve learnt so much about how to effectively share what I have to offer. I’ve experienced the joy of being part of a team with a united goal. By sharing what we each have to offer, we all benefit.

Viktor Frankl, an Auschwitz survivor, used to ask the people he worked with why they hadn’t killed themselves. He wanted to discover what they were most passionate about, what mattered enough to them to keep them alive and to encourage them to focus on that. I used to want to be dead but a deeply buried part of me was curious enough to stick around and I’m so glad I did. To be taking steps, however tiny, towards creating my dream brings such fulfilment.  Are you curious about why you’re here and what you have to give? Everyone has a part to play and we’re all equally important. Imagine being free of the need to cover up the pain of self rejection. Addictive patterns and behaviours are an attempt to fill the emptiness that a disconnection from your heart and your wild Nature causes. You can choose to reconnect.

You can’t change the past, but with Resonance Repatterning you can change the impact of the past in your present. You can bring health to every area of your life. It’s possible for you to feel better and more alive than you can probably even imagine right now. It’s entirely possible to change how your brain responds to stress and relax naturally, free of addictions. You can repattern the part of your brain that makes you crave things you know aren’t good for you and to find healthier ways to get that boost or high. It’s even possible to repattern your experience from as early as being in the womb. Some really simple ways are being out in full spectrum light, listening to music, dancing, connecting your breath with your movement and using your voice in a group. It can be great fun to be part of a group and there’s no need to worry about what others think of you as they’re probably too busy worrying about what you think of them.

I’m so inspired by how Resonance Repatterning can be used in so many settings such as hospitals, addiction centres, prisons, schools, refugee camps and old peoples’ homes. It can bring more freedom, hope and joy into places of struggle, despair and darkness.

I’d be delighted to offer you a session so you can experience it for yourself and I also offer ongoing groups with peer support, to integrate changes smoothly over time. Greater transformation is possible in groups with ongoing support. It is priceless to know you are connected and welcome as you are.

With love to you all,

Tabitha.

”Somebody once told me the definition of hell:

“On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.”

— Anonymous

 

“Giving yourself is a miracle.

Your care and energy are gifts that change the world.

The dreams that you share

Are the soil out of which anything can happen.

And together, with full hearts and willing hands

We can weave a future that looks back smiling,

Reminding us about who we chose to become.”

— Clare Dubois (founder of TreeSisters)

Significant Opportunity

“What happens when people fail to find their life purpose?”

BY GAIL GLANVILLE

 

One answer is this:

The World Health Organization predicts that by 2020 the leading cause of disability in women worldwide will be…depression. And not to be selective, the numbers for men are on the rise, too.

Don’t you think this represents a significant opportunity for Resonance Repatterning® practitioners?

There are literally hundreds, even thousands, of people in your market who suffer from depression. 80% of them are going untreated, which leads to lost opportunities, absenteeism, broken relationships and even suicide.

I suggest that the biggest opportunity for making a difference in this country is to target depression and anxiety in your practice (just as practitioners Laura Frisbie and Trine Whist are doing). Help people reconnect with the joy of their life purpose.

Remember the results of Joel Bennett’s Pilot Research Study? 95% of clients felt “better to a lot better” after a session with a Resonance Repatterning practitioner.

Recently I heard from a student who wanted to know how to promote herself, how to talk about her work with Resonance Repatterning so she could start attracting clients. I suggested she focus on depression, and gave her a sample elevator speech:

“Do you know how many people suffer from depression in this state? You’ll recognize them because they’ve lost their joy in life, their sense of accomplishment and meaning. They’ve stopped doing things they love. Most of them struggle along untreated, barely dragging themselves through their days. I wonder if you may sometimes feel the same.

 

“What I offer are private sessions in a new method of energy psychology that finds the specific source of depression and lifts it 95% of the time…

 

“So that you regain your zest for life, reconnect to people you love and experience your life as a journey to joy. So that you find your life purpose and begin to create anew on your terms. So that you can become so fulfilled and satisfied that you feel happy all the time.

 

“My name is Jane Doe, and I am a Resonance Repatterning practitioner. I can help you feel better even after just one session. Rather than telling you about what I do, let me show you, by phone or in person. Here’s my card.”

 

There is a secret to this approach, which is to resist the temptation to describe the FEATURES of Resonance Repatterning.

Instead weave a story around the proven “feel better” BENEFITS. How are clients actually changed by a session? How are they moved out of depression towards the joy of expressing their life’s purpose?

It is my belief that if a majority of practitioners offered Resonance Repatterning as a solution to depression like this, four things would happen:

  1. Resonance Repatterning would have a better chance of becoming a household word.
  2. Practitioners would build stronger practices.
  3. Both clients and practitioners would enjoy a greater sense of meaning and purpose.
  4. We’d prove the World Health Organization wrong!

What’s your belief?

Gail Glanville

PS: You’re welcome to use any or all of the elevator speech in groups or on your website.

Gail Glanville Is a member of the RPA Hall of Fame and former Managing Director of the Resonance Repatterning Institute. She provides Repatterning sessions by phone and also teaches holistic marketing to practitioners. She is the editor of the Nun Karma Repatterning and author of the Food Repatterning manual.

You can reach Gail at

Phone: 401 383 3451

How Anxiety Causes Relationship Problems

For the anxious person, relationships can be a living hell.  Far from the oasis of warm support and connection most of us associate with relationships, the anxious person is caught in a vicious cycle of stress responses that create yet more anxiousness.

An anxious person typically has the most difficulty in romantic relationships, followed by friendships and work relationships. Oddly, the research doesn’t mention family relationships.

Resonance Repatterning for Anxiety
Anxiety Causes Relationship Problems

I worked with one woman whose relationship with her romantic partner was wonderful. She came from an intensely religious family and as a gay woman she felt insecure and rejected.  Told she would burn in hell by her (otherwise loving) family, she needed friendships to fill the role of family for her.

However, when there were changes in her friendships she found herself panicking.  She couldn’t trust the bond of friendship to weather the natural disruptions of life such as someone moving or even being very busy. She couldn’t trust her close friendships to continue to be “like family”–that they wouldn’t abandon her–because on a deep level, her family had abandoned her.

See the catch 22?  For her, family, intimacy, bonding, love–all mean being abandoned at the primal, core level of accepting who she is as a gay woman.  When her friends needed space to work out their lives, she became needy and demanding, “making it all about me,” as she put it.

Relationship anxiety is an internal battleground where the desperate need for reassurance and security are the very things that threaten the relationship.

The anxious person is caught in a catch 22.  The obvious need is to trust—but at the same time when trust is most needed she absolutely must not collapse into trusting her overwhelming sensations of anxiety.

“I am driving my partner crazy with my drama and neediness and I can’t stop!  My anxiety is pushing him away… and that just makes me even more anxious,” is a typical complaint.

In 2004 the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA) conducted a survey of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) sufferers on the effect their anxiety on their romantic partner relationships.

Seventy percent of GAD sufferers believe their relationship anxiety has a negative effect on their relationships. Compared to non-anxious partners in romantic relationships GAD sufferers were:

  • Half as likely to perceive themselves as being in a “healthy, supportive” relationship.
  • Twice as likely to experience relationship problems in communication, social activities, arguments, and sexuality.
  • Three times more likely to avoid sexual intimacy.
  • Seventy-five percent believed their anxiety impaired their ability to participate in normal activities with their partner.

    Natural Remedies for Anxiety
    Natural Remedies for Anxiety

Relationship anxiety often creates mental state of suspiciousness and worry about their partners’ love, care, or faithfulness.

Becoming aware of their anxiety only serves to make them suspicious of their own thoughts and feelings.  The inverse holds true as well: Suspicions about their own thoughts creates anxiety.  The perception is there nothing to trust.  Any evidence of love and care on the part of the other gets lost in the fear and confusion.

Persistent needs of reassurance, dramatic confrontations and destructive impulses create even more stress in the relationship. Intolerable mental-emotional states create an urgent need for relief  (but make for bad decision making.) There is a downward spiral.

Anxious people blame themselves for not overcoming feelings of fear and panic and for the negative effects it has on their relationships.  Despair takes hold.  Traditional therapy leaves them “knowing better….but not being better.”

Adult Separation Anxiety
Adult Separation Anxiety

What we see as a pattern underneath the anxious person is someone who wants and needs (but is unable to receive) the closeness and security of relationship.

What we see in the relationship patterns of an anxious person is someone who desperately needs assistance with healing.

What we see in the unhealed stress responses requires much more, or something much different, than what either medication or thought-out rational explanations or problem-solving can even begin to provide.

What I see is a great need for Resonance Repatterning.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”  Frederick Buechner

Laura Frisbie

http://www.beat-depression-naturally.com 

Resonance Repatterning Practitioner specializing in abandonment and natural anxiety treatment

Resonance Practitioners Association Executive Board, Journal Committee, Skills Development Facilitator

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