“My name is _____.” There is energy to your name, which deeply effects who you are. If you don’t believe it, imagine how you would feel about yourself if your name was “Pickle”, “Beth”, or “Renaldo’? Would Marilyn Monroe have been considered as sensuous and sexy with the name Norma Jeane Mortenson? Indra Nooyi is CEO and Chairman of PepsiCo and is often identified as the most powerful woman of the world. How could you not take someone seriously with a name like Indra, meaning “Lord of the Heaven”!
Here is a story of what happened when Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner and teacher Carin Block decided to change her name to Magui Block.
Sally: How is it that you decided to change your name?
My mother gave me a birthday gift of a numerology session. The numerologist stated that my name did not fit me. But I could not figure out what to change my name to. Shortly after that session, I went to a supermarket and my money was stolen. I saw it happen and I could not do anything about it.
I clearly saw that the name “Carin Block” resonated with being a victim—that that name attracts bad things. I had worked those non-coherent patterns with Resonance Repatterning and constellations, and I saw by listening to my name many times every day that “Carin” was creating a negative impact. I loved that name, I was used to that name, and everybody knew me as Carin Block. I had a career with that name. How could I change it?
It was a jump, an opportunity to leave behind old patterns, so I did it. I was afraid and at the same time my heart felt lighter.
I decided to use Magui, that is the nickname of Margarita, my second name.
“Magui” is like magic and I want to do magical tools that heal with grace. It is aligned with my vision.
Sally: How has your life changed since your name has changed?
Magui: Before I changed my name, I was stuck in my writing and after I changed my name, I wrote a new book and a new workshop. After I changed my name, I found out about a government agency that supports small business, to help businesses grow. I am now in training to create my business. I am required to give a frank look at how to run a business. For example, I am learning how to handle employees. I have created a brand name—my name is my brand name. I am creating a new logo. I got in contact with my vision as a business. I am learning how to teach and create in a different way. I do not want to repeat the same mistakes. I want to make it better and I feel different, stronger.
Sally: How did Resonance Repatterning help you in your process of changing your name?
Magui: Resonance Repatterning has helped me all through the process of changing my name: making the “right” choices, managing the fear, leaving the old behind and all that triggers a big change like this. It is to leave an “old” way of being and welcoming a new one. Resonance Repatterning helps to do just that: quantum leaps.
For the anxious person, relationships can be a living hell. Far from the oasis of warm support and connection most of us associate with relationships, the anxious person is caught in a vicious cycle of stress responses that create yet more anxiousness.
An anxious person typically has the most difficulty in romantic relationships, followed by friendships and work relationships. Oddly, the research doesn’t mention family relationships.
I worked with one woman whose relationship with her romantic partner was wonderful. She came from an intensely religious family and as a gay woman she felt insecure and rejected. Told she would burn in hell by her (otherwise loving) family, she needed friendships to fill the role of family for her.
However, when there were changes in her friendships she found herself panicking. She couldn’t trust the bond of friendship to weather the natural disruptions of life such as someone moving or even being very busy. She couldn’t trust her close friendships to continue to be “like family”–that they wouldn’t abandon her–because on a deep level, her family had abandoned her.
See the catch 22? For her, family, intimacy, bonding, love–all mean being abandoned at the primal, core level of accepting who she is as a gay woman. When her friends needed space to work out their lives, she became needy and demanding, “making it all about me,” as she put it.
Relationship anxiety is an internal battleground where the desperate need for reassurance and security are the very things that threaten the relationship.
The anxious person is caught in a catch 22. The obvious need is to trust—but at the same time when trust is most needed she absolutely must not collapse into trusting her overwhelming sensations of anxiety.
“I am driving my partner crazy with my drama and neediness and I can’t stop! My anxiety is pushing him away… and that just makes me even more anxious,” is a typical complaint.
In 2004 the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA) conducted a survey of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) sufferers on the effect their anxiety on their romantic partner relationships.
Seventy percent of GAD sufferers believe their relationship anxiety has a negative effect on their relationships. Compared to non-anxious partners in romantic relationships GAD sufferers were:
Half as likely to perceive themselves as being in a “healthy, supportive” relationship.
Twice as likely to experience relationship problems in communication, social activities, arguments, and sexuality.
Three times more likely to avoid sexual intimacy.
Seventy-five percent believed their anxiety impaired their ability to participate in normal activities with their partner.
Relationship anxiety often creates mental state of suspiciousness and worry about their partners’ love, care, or faithfulness.
Becoming aware of their anxiety only serves to make them suspicious of their own thoughts and feelings. The inverse holds true as well: Suspicions about their own thoughts creates anxiety. The perception is there nothing to trust. Any evidence of love and care on the part of the other gets lost in the fear and confusion.
Persistent needs of reassurance, dramatic confrontations and destructive impulses create even more stress in the relationship. Intolerable mental-emotional states create an urgent need for relief (but make for bad decision making.) There is a downward spiral.
Anxious people blame themselves for not overcoming feelings of fear and panic and for the negative effects it has on their relationships. Despair takes hold. Traditional therapy leaves them “knowing better….but not being better.”
What we see as a pattern underneath the anxious person is someone who wants and needs (but is unable to receive) the closeness and security of relationship.
What we see in the relationship patterns of an anxious person is someone who desperately needs assistance with healing.
What we see in the unhealed stress responses requires much more, or something much different, than what either medication or thought-out rational explanations or problem-solving can even begin to provide.
What I see is a great need for Resonance Repatterning.
“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Frederick Buechner
In Part 1 of “The Bond, Connecting Through The Space Between Us” – Lynne McTaggart sets out to demonstrate how we exist in relationship to each other via our bonds as well as with the universe itself. Beginning with an account of the scientific explorations on the observer affect pursued by Wheeler and others, Lynne McTaggart challenges our thinking about where we end and the universe begins. This is indeed a great struggle for advanced meditators who are able to shift their state of awareness from oneness (I am) to interconnectedness (we are) and back again to the state of ‘I am.’ “The Bond” makes the case for expanding our ability to think from the perspective of a unified ‘we’ versus a solitary ‘I.’
This section of the book also opens an interesting discussion on the topic of genetics and how genetics alone does not shape our life or destiny. Rather, it is our positive or negative environments as much as anything else that determine who we are.
Lynne McTaggart’s account of the theories of the Russian scientist Alexander Chizhoevosky in 1921 was most fascinating. He had proposed that many of the world’s upheavals in history were the result of solar activity and solar flares. At the time his theories were not well accepted as political regimes preferred to think of a revolution as the result of the people rising up against the status quo. The poor man was sent to the northern reaches of Russia, where he could not expand his theories. However, 30 years later, his work was revisited by scientists who felt he was quite possibly right after all. It turns out that there is a correlation between the sun’s activity and many social phenomenon. We are linked to solar weather and all kinds of geo-magnetic activity of the solar system manifesting as increases in crime, heart attacks, car accidents, mental illness symptoms flaring up, and swings in the stock market to name a few.
In the final section of Part 1 Lynne McTaggart discusses our shared circuitry and how the emotions of another may be mirrored in ourselves via an empathic response. We can relate to others in distress because we put ourselves in their shoes and literally feel their pain as if it were ours. Repatterners, who have felt the physical pain of others, will find this section fascinating and informative.
Her conclusion is that we are hardwired to connect with others to survive and be our true selves. We are born to play as a team. Our tendency toward competition is self-destructive, and harms us more than we realize. We have the predisposition to be collaborative with no inter-conflict and in that state for all of us to flourish.
What Are Your Thoughts? – Your comments on this post in general are welcomed or on any of the book club questions below. To get to the comment box, be sure you are on the page for this post by clicking the title above. That will take you to the page with a comment box and where you may share this article on your Facebook/Twitter or other social media network. Book Club Questions:
What has been your experience of ‘shared circuitry’ in your life?
How has community life changed for you in your lifetime?
What is your best experience of community or shared circuitry?
In what ways have you repatterned a bond of belonging?
Related Links: General Book Review | Part I “The Superorganism” (this Post)| Part 2 & 3 Coming this November
Lynne McTaggart is the author of several books including “What Doctors Don’t Tell You,” “The Field – The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe” and “The Intention Experiment.” You may remember Lynne McTaggart as one of our virtual conference guest speakers in 2008. For anyone wanting to understand more of the science behind why repatterning works, any of these books are highly recommended. In her newest book “The Bond,” journalist Lynne McTaggart tackles her topic by sharing the explorations of science that support her proposition that we are more than individuals but owe our identity and being to our connection with the many bonds in our life and ultimately the universe itself. More than that, it is the space in between these bonds where the connections are forged. As a first-rate storyteller, McTaggart recounts the scientific trails that lead scientists to particular conclusions with the tone of a good mystery cliff hanger quickly drawing the reader into each chapter. It soon doesn’t feel like a technical book at all as you race to read the next chapter to find out where the next piece of evidence exists.
This book is about the innate resonance or energy that is available to us through our entrainment with each other, our groups, our community, our culture, the world. In repatterning language, it is the entrainment frequencies that may have weakened for many of us depending on where we live, or our cultural ties or group. In western society McTaggart makes the point that the pull towards individualization, me first, and qualities of greed, dishonesty, and competition have weakened our bond with each other and with the world. According to the studies outlined by Mctaggart we suffer with greater mental health issues, physical health, our happiness and longevity. We may die having the most money or stuff or both, and think we are really the winners when, in fact, we have lost more than we know. Lynne McTaggart successfully argues how it can be much different.
Throughout “The Bond,” McTaggart outlines many rich examples of people, groups and societies with a much different world view that illuminates our bond from nature itself to each other and our group. Her purpose in writing the book is ‘to prove that we are living an outdated set of rules and to demonstrate how easy it is to live in wholeness.’
After reading this book and the many stunning examples, you too will conclude that Lynne McTaggart has accomplished her intention.
Resonance Repatterning professionals may enjoy many parts of the book that support our understanding of some of the repatternings learned in the “Healing the Family Systems” repatternings by Magui (formerly Carin) Block as well as her many references to resonance, coherence and patterns. It may help you to broaden your perspective in some of these repatternings.
For everyone who has lived in an active community, this book will help you to understand the value of your connection there and to your life. Lynne McTaggert’s questioning style allows the reader to take each chapter and reflect on its meaning in their own life experiences.
I highly recommend “The Bond” and invite a book club type discussion over the months ahead using this blog publication and these posts. There is a post (or will be) for each of the 3 sections of “The Bond” where you may comment or ask questions and share opinions with everyone reading along with this book.
PRACTICAL ADVICE is a regularly appearing column in the RPA Journal. Elizabeth Tobin, JD; Certified Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner answers your questions about creating a thriving Resonance Repatterning practice. If you have a question that you would like answered or if you would like to share your views about any of the topics discussed here, we welcome your comments.
Q: Given that Resonance Repatterning is an empowering process for positive change that can be used on any problem – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual– should I really develop a “target market?”
A:The short answer is, “Yes!” There’s an old adage that says if your market is everyone, then your market is really no one. This means that if you cast too wide a net in terms of who you want to attract as a client then it’s difficult to connect with people on a personal level.
Marketing experts agree that when you are writing sales materials — whether it’s emails, on-line sales pages, flyers, print ads, radio ads, etc. – the most effective approach is to write as if you are speaking to only one person. If you have identified your target market and know what they want and need it will be easier for you to develop effective outreach material.
In this information age, people get bombarded with input so they filter it. In just a few seconds they’ve already decided what’s relevant and what’s not.
You need to get people’s attention, then you need to hold their attention long enough to let them know how you can help. The more specific your message the more likely it will get filtered in to the people whom you most want to reach. That is, the people who are really interested in what you have to offer. If your message is too general it’s more likely to get filtered out – by everyone.
The way to get people’s attention is to be very specific and to speak their language. For example, I am currently offering a 12 session series called “Transforming Money Archetypes and Karmic Contracts” and I’ve written specific Repatternings for the different archetypes and karmas. My target audience is people on a spiritual path who are tuned into the evolution of consciousness and the great cosmic shift that is happening. If I was marketing these same Repatternings to business clients I would use very different language. I wouldn’t talk about archetypes and karma. Instead, I might say “Success Profile,” or “Money Type.”
When choosing your target market, it may help to keep in mind these words I once overheard from a fortune teller, “People have 3 areas of concern – health, relationships, and money. If you stick to these 3 areas you’re bound to hit on something that’s relevant to them.” I would add a fourth item: having a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
There’s another old saying that we teach what we most need to learn.
Through the principle of sympathetic resonance you’ll likely attract clients who mirror your issues, so why not focus on the one area of your life that you’d most like to change? For example, when I first started my Resonance Repatterning practice back in 2001, I was unemployed and needed my practice to start earning money from the get go. Because money was an issue for me, the first thing I did was a series called “100 Days of Wealth.” As you can see from my two examples, I’ve been in practice 10 years and I’m still offering Repatternings on the same topic as when I started out.
Here’s another way to decide on your specific niche: Consumers buy from people they know, like and trust. Telling your own success story about how you changed your life with Resonance Repatterning is a great way for people to get to know you. That you’ve been where they are now let’s them know that you understand their pain and you have a solution to get through that pain. By focusing on your own area of greatest transformation you can offer similarly situated people hope. In addition, you’ll have no trouble speaking from your heart and using language that they can connect with. What’s more, your personal experience, knowledge and insight make you an expert on the topic.
This brings us to your Unique Selling Proposition (USP). Identifying your target market ties into what marketers call your USP. Your USP is what makes you stand out in your field.
Once you’ve identified your target market you’ll have more clarity on why you’re the best practitioner for this market.
Your USP lets people know what they can get from you that they can’t get anywhere else. Why should someone choose you over other practitioners? Your unique selling proposition may include the number of years you’ve been practicing as a professional, certifications that you’ve earned, the life experience you’ve gained in overcoming specific hurdles, awards that you’ve won, etc.
Your target market and your USP are integral to your mission and vision for your practice. Think of them as intentions that you set for your business. Having a clear intention can serve as a guide to discern whether a particular task, project or joint venture fits into your business model. Knowing who you are, what you are offering, and to whom you want to offer it brings clarity and power to your marketing activities and your practice as a whole. And as we know from Resonance Repatterning resonating with your intentions is the key to manifesting them. Resonating with your target market and your unique selling proposition is the key to manifesting your thriving practice!
Elizabeth Tobin, JD is a Certified Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner has been earning her livelihood through her full-time Resonance Repatterning practice since 2001. Geographically based in Boston, MA, Elizabeth serves an international clientele with individual telephone and skype sessions, global distance healing proxy groups and live workshops. Visit her website at http://LizTobin.com
The “Certification Corner” is a regularly appearing column in the RPA Journal and is written by the members of the Certification Board, Meryl Chodosh-Weiss, Shirley Lanyi, Paula Caplan and Mary Cameris. Each issue focuses on aspects of the Resonance Repatterning Certification Process. If you have a question that you would like to be answered in the RPA Journal, you can email Meryl at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please know that we all have volunteered to serve on the Board, and that our objective is to help make each Student Practitioner’s Certification journey as harmonious as possible. If you are having any problems or concerns during your Certification journey, please contact us either by calling 1-800-685-2811, option #3, or by writing us at Certification@RPAMembers.org.
We are here to support you and troubleshoot any unusual situation you may be facing. We need to be made aware of problems in order to rectify them and ensure that future Student Practitioners do not have similar experiences.
We were delighted to see that so many Student Practitioners responded to the “Grace Period” offered for all Student Practitioners whose membership and dues were more than one year past their due date. Welcome back!
The “Grace Period” was over as of July 1, but if you are a Student Practitioner going through your Certification process and have let your dues lapse, click on the following to get guidance on how to reinstate your status:
Practitioner Skills Development classes will be held September 26-27, in Scottsddale, AZ, with Ardis Osborn and November 5-6, 2011, in New York, NY, with Meryl Chodosh-Weiss. You can contact Ardis at email@example.com, 480-481-9023 and Meryl at firstname.lastname@example.org 212-628-8260, for more information.
Our next Certification Board meetings will be held September 19th, October 17th and on November 14th, 2011.
Our next “Student Practitioners Conference Call,” is scheduled for November 14, 2011, at 7 pm Eastern Time. The conference call is to support you, whether you are a student learning Resonance Repatterning, or you are going through your Certification journey. All questions and concerns are addressed during the teleconference call, and a wonderful Repatterning is done at the end. You can register for the call by clicking on the following site:
We hope you are enjoying your summer. This is the time of the Fire Element. Fire is our masculine element, its aspects being creativity, change, passion, motivation, willpower, drive and sensuality. May whatever you are experiencing during this time be productive, joyful and successful. Have a wonderful summer!
Mary Cameris, Meryl Chodosh-Weiss, Shirley Lanyi, Paula Caplan
“We can’t teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves.”
Galileo Galilei – Preface 1995
Dan Millman states: “All journeys are true, but not all are factual.” We find the laws on the winding paths of life within our intuitive wisdom and without in the natural world.
This is an adventure story, an encounter in the wilderness of northern California between the author and a mysterious woman, a mountain sage who offered to share with him her secrets of alchemy. Her secrets were not of turning lead into gold but of transmuting one’s fears, confusion, concerns and difficulties that arise into “the gold of freedom and clarity, serenity and joy” in the laws of Spirit. She explained she had found Spirit in all religions and its laws functioning throughout the universe, as do the mechanics of the universe. Following these laws leads to prosperity and fulfillment—peace in the light of higher understanding; resistance leads to challenging consequences.
The Law of Balance is first, reminding us we can overdo and underdo on all levels of our being. Her examples are experiential, such as imagining the feeling of calm the egret experiences standing on one leg at the edge of a pond. We learn to discern the difference between ‘normal,’ which could be high tension, and what is true balance and inner peace. The way to find that serene center is through doing and becoming more aware of the imbalances of living your life that need balancing.
The Law of Choices allows us to reclaim our power—choosing our response to circumstances in life and taking action to follow through with it. The sage’s declaration that all choices serve in their own way is a comforting thought, however it feels in the process.
The Law of Process addresses the steps and awareness involved in bringing change, achieving a goal, as well as honoring the completion of each step of preparation toward what has special meaning to us.
The Law of Presence is exemplified in Margaret Bonnano’s quote, “It’s only possible to live happily ever after on a moment to moment basis.” Dealing with what is in front of you is where your body is in the here and now.
The Law of Compassion is defined as “the recognition that we are each doing the best we can within the limits of our current beliefs and capacities.” This freeing thought precludes our judgment of others when we realize Carl Jung’s adage that we reject in others what we cannot accept within ourselves. Acknowledging such tendencies within us brings our shadow side to the light, where compassion and healing can benefit all. It starts with forgiving ourselves. When faced with violence and human cruelty each of us can decide what kind of energy—love or hate—that we want to project into our world. We can learn to see all people as teachers.
The Law of Faith is about trusting in Spirit, universal love and wisdom working through us all. The sage speaks of God as a feeling of wonder and mystery rather than belief and accepts whatever happens can serve a higher purpose for our well-being regardless of how it appears. Awareness of your faith comes from listening to the intuitive wisdom of your heart, not from books, teachers, scientists and psychics. So often we seek outside us for what is within from our birth. External influences can guide you to your internal treasure. Your path may present obstacles, and your faith brings you the willingness to risk, make mistakes and move forward in the process of life.
The Law of Expectation expands our reality. Imagination, assumptions and beliefs at the deepest level determine your experience. Blocks to the realization of what we want come up as doubts in the possibility of achieving it. By expressing aloud all the reservations involved and reassessing can clear the mind’s energy. The perception and focus shifts so that negativity doesn’t hold you back. Our limitations are only in our beliefs in problems; beliefs in solutions change our life and our world.
The Law of Integrity is described as living our truth, our authentic interior reality expressed by our example, not only our words, for our own as well as others’ awareness. Completeness and unity are inferred in being yourself and knowing that is ‘enough’ even with our vulnerabilities.
The Law of Action is demonstrated beyond the thought and into our behavior, the doing that leads to understanding and moving into life. The sage delivers the message: “It’s better to do what is best than not to do it and have a good excuse.” Still, options require consideration that nonaction may be best in certain circumstances. Key is turning to your heart’s wisdom and being aware of your tendencies of impulsivity or inertia.
The Law of Cycles speaks to us of nature’s patterns in time and space. As Kahlil Gibran wrote, “In every winter’s heart lies a quivering spring, and behind the veil of each night waits a smiling dawn.” Change is life, and we often cling to the familiar, comforted in the assumption of control and order. The lessons from nature, e.g. seeds produce only their own kind, you reap what you sow, and cycles end before another begins, enhance our days and our own evolution, a ripening process.
The Law of Surrender points to acceptance of a higher will that involves receiving what is in the present, including your body, mind, and spirit and your life without resistance. Belief in the wisdom of your heart leads to spiritual growth and greater consciousness. “Learn to wish that everything should come to pass exactly as it does.” was the instruction of Epictetus, the ancient Greek philosopher, to his students. By relaxing the body surrenders to the moment versus rigidly holding to what ‘should’ happen. With practice, we can perceive all we behold as Spirit and that life is a mystery beyond our comprehension.
The Law of Unity awareness requires a shift in perception on a higher plane—coming to realize that we re not separate beings on an earth of infinite diversity but rather One Being, One Consciousness. The paradox depends on seeing both perspectives on the state of our awareness—the individual entities vs. parts of the whole. The choice becomes ours. The concept begins as incredulous to our comprehension. The sage, however, suggests being open to feeling it—a sense of deep connection to your presence at that moment, bringing pure peace and joy. How would your life, your reality change by embracing a vision of humanity as One? The oneness dissolves the wounding and heals the wounded with compassion for all creation.
The Laws of Spirit are intended for bearing courage, love and understanding. Yet powerful as these laws are, the sage concludes, without the Law of Love–your connection to your heart’s wisdom–they are secondary. Her prayers for us all: “May you find grace as you surrender to life. May you find happiness, as you stop seeking it. May you come to trust these laws and inherit the wisdom of the Earth. May you reconnect with the heart of nature and feel the blessings of Spirit.” All together they light our journey and remind us of the love that surrounds each of us and the peace that perpetuates.
I grew up in an alcoholic home which affected me more than I realized. I was in a constant state of fear and unhappiness, always looking for a way to make myself feel better. I assumed that it was only emotional, but found out differently later on. My search led me to many different healing disciplines: counseling, birth control pills (hormones), anti-depressants (which made me suicidal), astrology, Lifespring, hypnotherapy, biofeedback, meditation (very unsuccessful – I couldn’t sit still for long), self help books. Exercise was the best thing I found to help me when things got really bad. I found Reasonance Repatterning in the 90’s and it really appealed to me because of the idea that one thing does not work for everyone. It offered one stop shopping for many disciplines with explanations on how they work, in addition to muscle testing, which allows you to determine what you need.
In 2004, after several years of major life changing events (death of sister and mother, ending of long term relationship, job change and pay cut, purchase of 1st house with husband to be, going through decades of accumulated stuff), I was physically worn down and stressed out. I had a chronic ear infection and my doctor gave me a 12 day pack of prednisone after the usual antibiotics and ear drops did not work. I didn’t know at the time that steroids will reduce adrenal function for up to a year and I also didn’t know that my adrenals were already shot, so those steroids basically finished me off. I became very weak. I had no energy at all, like I had been unplugged. My blood sugar was extremely unstable, putting me on a roller coaster of being weak and shaky from low blood sugar or feeling ill and crashing from high blood sugar. I felt horrible every minute of every day. My adrenals would run out of gas about every three weeks, putting me in bed for a day or so (the only way to recharge your adrenals is sleep). This also put me in menopause. I would have hot flashes so severe they would make me nauseous. I was in fight or flight most of the time. The smallest things would trigger it and I would feel shaky and scared for a long time afterwards. Normally, your body releases chemicals to turn off the fight or flight response, but mine didn’t work.
It took me about a year to figure out what was actually wrong with me (adrenal insufficiency brought on by steroids) and even then, traditional medicine didn’t have much to offer me in the way of help. Luckily I have a good medical doctor who put me on Neuroscience targeted amino acid therapy which changes your brain chemistry to bring it back to normal levels (instead of fight or flight). I also have the trio of my acupuncturist, my chiropractor and my massage therapist (I get reflexology). They give me information about what is going on with my body and they support and verify my perceptions. While trying to figure out how to cope with my chronic health issue, I realized that I had been stuck in fight or flight most of my life. By growing up in a high stress environment, my neurotransmitters had become stuck at this high stress setting. I also realized that this causes a victim mentality. When your body is in fight or flight, your brain looks for the threat and tries to decide to flee or fight. However, if you are stuck in fight or flight, you have not really been threatened. Your brain is still looking for the thing that turned on your fight or flight response. You blame your job, your boss, your friends, your family, your city/location, etc, anything but yourself because your brain expects it to be external. When I finally realized that it was my body that was stuck, that there was no outside threat, it was a huge relief. I realized that my fear was a physical thing and that it was fixable. So, one of the worst things that has ever happened to me also brought the gift of curing my constant fear and unhappiness that I have lived with for most of my life. I believe that this is a rampant malady these days because I see this behavior in people all around me in varying degrees. Most people are very functional, like I was before my bout with prednisone. It’s very hard to describe to someone else how differently I experience life these days, now that I am not in constant fear.
However, this didn’t happen overnight and I am still healing. I’ve had to learn ways to cope when my body is out of balance. This is where the healing modalities became invaluable to me. I do RR sessions on myself when I feel really stuck, but the most helpful thing is having something that I can do in the moment, wherever I am. I use Jin Shin Jyutsu, holding my fingers in meetings when I am feeling bad or having a hard time paying attention. I do zip-ups walking down the hall (one day a co-worker asked me if I was cussing someone out in Italian!). I set intentions and do a healing modality when I am having trouble concentrating or to get myself back on track at work. When something happens that puts me in fight or flight, I thump my thymus. It calms me down immediately. I have a routine of modalities that I do in the morning – I can tell it makes a difference because I tend to skip it on the weekend and I definitely feel better during the week! I am very Thankful to Chloe for sharing this information with us and making it so accessible. I have a wonderful tool box to pick from whenever I need it.
I am in my seventh year of taking the Neuroscience supplements and my neurotransmitters are almost normal. The trick is to wean myself off of the supplements and keep my brain chemistry at the new baseline. I’m not 100% fixed and might not ever be, but I feel more like an adult and can make decisions based on clear reasoning, not just safety and survival. I very rarely crash these days but I do still have to watch what I eat to keep my blood sugar stable. I have tools that I can use every day to help myself cope with whatever I am dealing with at the moment, physically or mentally. I believe that health is a constantly changing state of balance and that we can help ourselves by being aware of what we need in the moment and staying conscious of our daily choices concerning food and activities. Health care professionals are an important source of information, but I know my body best and I am ultimately responsible for its daily care. The body will tell us what it needs if we only listen. I share my story with the hope that I can help others help themselves with these simple and wonderful tools.
Parts of this article are reprinted or adapted from Energetics of Relationship by Chloe Faith Wordsworth
The most significant relationship in our life is with our mother: we are made from her bones and blood; her every response is recorded at a cellular level not only within her own body, emotions and mind, but also in the body, emotions and mind of her prenate in the first nine months of life in the womb. It’s no wonder that soldiers dying on the field of battle call for their mother. She is associated with life, and longed for in death.
But in our western world, something goes wrong in this relationship. In tribal societies women know instinctively that their baby needs to be in almost continuous contact with them for at least the first nine months of the baby’s life. This connection reinforces the PNS (parasympathetic nervous system) response that is associated with bonding, love, nurturance from food, sexual connection and relaxation. The pain of not having this need for bonding, love and connection met impacts how we relate to all others for the rest of our life.
Our second innate need is for separation. After about nine months of age, the child initiates separation from the mother, impelled by a desire to explore their world. Unnatural or forced separation from the mother’s energy field through physical separation or disconnection from her emotional and mental energy field causes the baby to respond with an SNS (sympathetic nervous system) fight/flight reaction.
When these early needs for bonding and natural separation are not met, we tend to ‘survive’ by needing constant attention to avoid an intense feeling of abandonment or we compensate by becoming self-sufficient and denying our need for bonding. Either of these responses cause intimacy and bonding to be associated with stress rather than pleasure and relaxation.
When there is a healthy balance between the PNS and SNS, the child explores a little and soon returns to the mother for bonding or to make sure she is still there, and then leaves to explore once more. In this way the child learns to move out into the world with curiosity and a sense of adventure, balanced by a return for bonding and protection whenever the child feels the need. Exploration is now associated with a sense of safety, because trust that the mother is predictably available for bonding whenever she is needed is maintained. When our survival reptilian brain knows that both separation and bonding are safe and predictable, growth, maximum learning, vitality and health are the result.
Vulnerable and violated
Because of our early bonding-separation stresses, the capacity to bond and separate in a balanced, harmonious, life-enhancing way is a rarity rather than the norm. When our PNS (parasympathetic nervous system) is underactive because of early bonding stress, we feel vulnerable, which often causes us to feel violated by others and their demands. Isolation then becomes the only way to feel safe; or we may strictly control how much bonding we allow – avoiding what feels like too much closeness. Underneath these responses is a feeling of abandonment by the mother.
Agitation and discharge
When our SNS (sympathetic nervous system) is overactive because of early separation stress, we may feel agitated and unable to relax. The force of our hyperactive energy often pushes people away, and the need to discharge the build-up of energy in overwork, excessive exercise, numerous projects, sexual activity, constant talking and even in quarrels and fighting are some of the consequences. These activities may bring a little temporary relief, but our inherent need for relaxation and bonding is never addressed.
Increase our capacity for love
We want bonding; we are hard-wired for bonding. For our natural expression of health and vitality, we need to not only maintain the bond of love but also increase our capacity for love. Instead, we tend to build walls and in our self-sufficiency avoid our most basic need.
We don’t do well with disharmony, conflict, quarrels and violence. These non-coherent ways of being are a shock to our system because we dread anything that potentially could destroy the bond of love between us and all others. Why we don’t do well with separation is because we are all one: energetically, the whole universe is a web of interconnected relationships held together by the force of love. Separation simply reinforces the illusion that we have lost our connection to the oneness of life. We pay a heavy price for this disconnect: we don’t feel loved, which leads us to feel betrayed, abandoned and rejected; we then stop loving, which leads to feelings of anger, hurt and withdrawal; we feel cut off from the web of life, which leads to a loss of meaning, purpose, joy, trust and contentment.
In many ways we could say that in Resonance Repatterning everything we do, every session, is to change our resonance with the illusion of separation, so once more we experience the love that is within ourselves that connects us with all others and the web of life. Often we need to heal our relationship with our mother so we once more resonate with letting go of the pain associated with our neglect/abuse issues that bind us to the stress responses, negative feelings and non-coherent beliefs of our infancy and childhood. Whether we want to regain our health, enjoy our work, expand ourselves successfully into the world or have positive relationships with all those we know and meet, everything depends on reconnecting to the bond of love within, to the ideal mother within, to our parasympathetic nervous system’s inherent need to bond that in turn allows us to initiate natural separation: the space and optimism to enjoy the adventure of life!
Certified Resonance Repatterning Practitioner, New York City, NY
Interviewed by Nancy Martin, Certified Practitioner, Providence, RI
Congratulations on your certification, Beth! We welcome this opportunity to introduce you to your colleagues.
Please tell us about yourself—what you do for a living and what is your background?
My name is Elizabeth Polito and I became a Certified Practitioner of Resonance Repatterning® in April of 2010. I am a former Broadway Performer, and have been singing, dancing, and acting since the age of 6. I hold a BA in Theatre and Dance from the University of Buffalo. I am currently working as a healing practitioner and Yoga Instructor. In addition to offering Resonance Repatterning, I am a Teaching Assistant with The Reconnection, a new form of healing that accesses a very broad frequency of energy, light and information. I travel with the team helping to teach seminars worldwide. I am also one of only 6 Certified Reconnective Yoga instructors in the world, and am very involved in bringing this new type of Yoga, which combines these healing frequencies with a Yoga practice, forward and out into the world. You can learn more info about this work at www.TheReconnection.com.
How did you learn about Resonance Repatterning ?
I learned about Resonance Repatterning in 2007 when a friend/teacher mentioned the work to me. I was on Broadway at the time, and was working as a Life Coach teaching Higher Awareness to clients. I became intrigued, and felt like it was something I might like to study. All of the pieces began falling into place–I was thrilled to learn that Meryl Chodosh-Weiss was teaching the work right here in NYC, where I currently live, and I applied and was granted a scholarship from Career Transitions for Dancers to fund part of my training. I began taking the seminars, and I fell in love with Repatterning. I became a regular member of Meryl’s Monthly Practitioner Support Group, and I was able to easily transition my Higher Awareness Coaching clients into Repatterning Clients. The shifts they experienced were huge! Through the support of Meryl and our NYC group, I was able to follow the path toward Certification, fine tune my skills, ask lots of questions, observe fellow practitioners, and practice, practice, practice! I am so proud and grateful to be a member of that extraordinary group of NYC-based practitioners. It makes all the difference to have a support network, especially when you are starting out.
What does Resonance Repatterning mean to you?
I am very proud of my Repatterning work with a not-for-profit called Further Shore, based out of Flagstaff, AZ ( www.furthershore.org). I am part of a team of pracitioners offering pre-hospice healing support and education for terminal patients or those facing end-of-life concerns. We support the mission of living well and dying with dignity. I have had the great honor of doing sessions with terminally diagnosed clients and been the witness to shifts that have transformed them to new places of forgiveness, freedom, and peace before they leave their bodies. And I do all of my sessions with them on the phone! One particular client was able to truly forgive and release a grievance he had been carrying toward his brother for over 20 years! He was able to be in a space of peace and love as he transitioned. It was so beautiful.
I am also proud to have incorporated my love of Repatterning with my love for the Moon. Last May I started a Lunar Repatterning Proxy Group. I do 4 proxy sessions each month that coincide with the New Moon, First Quarter, Full Moon, and Last Quarter. The group is ongoing, and consists of healers, artists, mothers, film-makers, dancers, teachers, yogis, lawyers, and lightworkers. It has been an amazing experience, and I have gotten wonderful feedback from the members. The shifts are truly palpable, and I am always amazed at the depth of the sessions. Many Repatterning Practitioners are members of the Lunar Group, and I would be honored to have more of our RPA members check it out. My website is www.performingonpurpose.com.
What are some examples of a session that stand out in your life?
One of the most powerful sessions that comes to mind is one I received this past January. I was in the middle of grieving a death, had left my 10-year relationship, and had moved homes all within 6 months. My life was completely in transition, and I was non-coherent. I had not eaten in five days, could not stop crying, couldn’t sleep, and was just beside myself. Meryl Chodosh-Weiss did a session with me, and by the end of the session I immediately knew that it had a positive effect because I actually began to feel hungry! I can’t even remember what Repatterning came up, but the session literally moved me through a dark time and allowed me to move forward. I ate a meal that day, and actually became more emotionally calm. I also was able to sleep uninterrupted for the first time in weeks. That repatterning session was a turning point for me. It shifted me out of being “stuck” in my grief and allowed me to move forward toward my future.
What would you like to see RPA do for its newest members?
One thing I would love the RPA to do is to help us get the word out about things we are doing. I would love to be able to reach members to share events or activities that I am hosting or teaching. For example, I am teaching a Reconnective Yoga class in NYC, and I would love to share that with any locals who are interested. I also host a game called Ilumination, The Quest, which is a powerful tool of transformation based on the wisdom of The Tarot. I would love to be able to let people know what I am doing.
What five words would describe you?
Passionate, loving, spunky, sensitive, powerful
Do you have a motto?
A motto? Hmm…Speak your truth fully, gently, and lovingly. If someone has a problem with what you have expressed, that is THEIR stuff!
More information about Elizabeth Polito and her services may be found at the following: