The RPA Executive Board is pleased to announce that Magui Block (Family System I & II) will be doing the Keynote presentation for our 2012 Annual Conference. Magui will be speaking about her brand new work involving intimate relationships, which is a 21-step program to manifest love in your life. Magui will also facilitate a repatterning based on this work after the Keynote address.
FEBRUARY 25th Conference
Annual Meeting – 1:00PM Eastern
(Open to all members)
Keynote Address 2:30PM – 4:00PM Guest Speaker: Magui Block (registration required)
“Attracting the Love of Your Life, or Improving the One You Have” –Experience the new work of Magui Block with this group repatterning.
Magui Block knows how to support people in transforming their relationships very well. When I heard that she is creating a new relationships workshop, I wanted to hear more.
Sally: You are the author of two excellent Resonance Repatterning® workshops—one called Healing the Family and one called Healing the Family Systems and Healing the Systems—Family, Groups, and Organizations. What is the next workshop that you are developing?
Magui: My next workshop will address intimate relationships– one with one relationships. It is more for couple relationships, but it can be beneficial for any other intimate relationship such as parent/child or siblings; boss/employee relationships, close friends.
I want many people to attend. I want to do it outside of the Resonance Repatterning umbrella, so everybody can attend, not only Resonante Repatterning practitioners. Chloe, who has always supported and guided my work, likes the idea and is close to me in this project.
There will be two manuals—one for Resonance Repatterning participants and one for people who are not trained to do Resonance Repatterning. Participants who are not Resonance Repatterning Practitioners can learn the work through another, more simple system—another pathway. They will still be able to identify non-coherent patters, identify the issues that hold the non-coherence in place and identify the modality. They can do the same process without needing to use muscle checking.
I hope that this approach will help increase the number of students studying Resonance Repatterning. By taking this workshop, they will feel motivated to take additional courses.
Some of the chapters of this new workbook include:
How Families of Origin affect the Dynamics of the Couple
How to Attract and Manifest an Intimate Relationship
The Dynamics of Male/Female Interactions
Setting Limits in Relationships
Destructive Relationships
Ending a Relationship
In this manual, I address why there are more divorces now. I address how to manage power in a relationship such as in relationship to money and control. And finally, I address what happens when one member of a couple grows and moves in life and that threatens the couple staying together.
Sally: When is this workshop first going to be taught?
The first workshop will be held in Spain in late November—in Spanish.
Participants will include couples and singles, Resonance Repatterning Practitioners and people who are not repatterners, psychologists and social workers, etc. They will learn the tools. I won’t teach them the skills of how to help others heal. If they have those skills, they can use this tool in their practice. If not, they will be able to use this tool for themselves.
Sally: Will you be using Bert Hellinger approaches again in this workshop?
Magui: I use his principles a little when teaching “dynamics of the soul”. But primarily I am using other approaches. I am presenting what I have seen to work with my clients who are addressing couples issues.
The work is very serious, but I address it in a light way. I use stories and case histories. The way the manual is written is designed to heal. I meditated and received inner guidance. This workshop is very different than what I have presented in the past. It is simpler.
Sally: When doing modalities, do you recommend that the practitioner follow the instructions from the book exactly as they are written, or do you recommend that they change the processes as they feel appropriate?
Magui: If a practitioner is connected with spirit, with their wisdom, the modality goes well. If not connected with spirit, the energy is denser and there is more suffering. This work must touch your spirit.
For example, with the modalities for trauma: It’s not the trauma, but the trauma’s energy that gets stuck. Let that energy do what ever it needs to be doing. What does the energy need to do? The described modalities are only one way to heal. If the given modality gives you a different idea, it is recommendable to do that different process. The suggestions in the book can be used to take a different direction.
Do the work with the heart, not the head. The modalities are a limitation in a way. We have many more tools. When a client is having an experience, the modalities are only ideas of how to address the experience. Maybe the client has other ideas.
….It is beneficial to take workshops many times. When you see a lot of different scenarios, your learning and grasp of the process will become deeper.
Sally: Do you have specific goals for this workshop?
Magui: The books are design to support transformation, to avoid repeating old patterns, and to create new coherent patterns.
When we get triggered by our old patterns, we get to see how our old patterns are in relationship to us. How do we develop the ability to not repeat these old patterns? First we identify our patterns and then we go on to our relationship patterns. We address what triggers us. What ever triggers us shows how we are in relationships and this reflects how we relate to ourselves.
In one of the chapters, for example, I address that people are often alone, not by conscious choice, but are afraid to be with someone. They do not want to open their hearts—but that decision happens on an unconscious level. They are choosing by not choosing. They are losing time, love and experiences.
Then there are others who have relationships, but do not open up, they stay safe. They do not have a sense of community. They can’t open to someone, can’t open to others. They stay stuck in unhealthy relationships. They don’t finish with the relationship because they are afraid.
In this workshop, and in the book, I talk in a way that is light, very light. That is the way I teach. Not heavy. The issues are heavy, but the presentation is light and the healing is with love.
I am hoping to present Resonance Repatterning in a way that will help Resonance Repatterning will grow. I hope to find ways to make it attractive to more people.
Sally: Thank you Magui for all you have done for Resonance Repatterning. I look forward to taking this new workshop.
Sally Herr
Magui Block lives in Cuernavaca, Mexico. She has received accreditation in several fields in psychotherapy: Person Centered Focus, Gestalt Psychotherapy, Gestalt for Children and Teenagers, Dreams, Biomnemics (body therapy), Gestalt to treat Symptoms, Family Therapy, E.M.D.R., Eriksonian Hypnosis. She is also trained as a Family Constellation Therapist by the Bert Hellinger Institute of Berlin.
Magui has been a Resonance Repatterning Certified Practitioner since 1999, and teaches the Empowering Yourself seminar. She is the author of the Resonance Repatterning seminars “Healing The Family Systems” and “Healing The Systems- family, groups and organizations”. She was the first President of the Mexican Resonance Repatterning Association during 2000 and 2001, when it was created.
Sally Herr is a Resonance Repatterning Practitioner, a Speech Language Practitioner, MA/CCC, and a Biodynamic CranioSacral Therapist (RCST). She lives and works in Portland, Maine. Her website is SallyHerr.com.
Certification Corner is a regularly appearing column in the Repatterning Journal. Written by the members of the Certification Board, Meryl Chodosh-Weiss, Shirley Lanyi, Mary Cameris and Paula Caplan. Each issue will focus on information about the RPA Repatterning Certification process and Certification issues. If you have a question that you would like to be answered in the Repatterning Journal you can email Meryl at meryl@beyourbliss.info.
Happy Autumn everyone! This season of the Metal element is about releasing and letting go of all that is no longer necessary so that values, quality, respect, organization, inspiration and a sense of the ideal can be energized and permeate our relationships in every aspect of our lives.
We are delighted to announce that Isabel Thomas, from Mesa Arizona, is our newest RPA Certified Practitioner. We send heartfelt congratulations to you Isabel for successfully completing your Certification Journey!
The Summer Seasonal conference call was widely attended and we hope that even more students and student practitioners will bring their questions and concerns to our Autumn Seasonal Conference call on Monday, November 14, 2011. The call begins at 7pm Eastern time and it will end at 8pm Eastern time. It will include a group repatterning. You can register by clicking here
The next Certification Board meeting is also on November 14, 2011, so you have just enough time to send in your Certification package if you are ready to apply to the Board.
Currently scheduled Practitioner Skills Development classes are:
New York, NY. with Meryl Chodosh-Weiss, November 12, 2011.
For more information contact the Designated Observer directly.
Please know that we have volunteered so that each Student Practitioner’s Certification journey can be as harmonious as possible. If there is any way that we can assist you, please do not hesitate to contact us either by calling 1.800.685.2811, option #3, by writing to us atCertification@RPAMembers.organd by attending the Student / Student Practitioner/Certification Board Teleconferences, which are held four times a year.
The newly revised Resonance Repattering® books–up to Transforming Chakra Patterns–are now on sale at the Resonance Repatterning/eStore website. The Journal Committee wanted to find out what’s different about these books and so we called Chloe Wordsworth, author of these books and the Founder of Resonance Repatterning to find out.
Sally: In the beginning, when you began doing this work, what inspired you to write the Resonance Repatterning books?
Chloe: By 1990 I had spent 20 years studying many different healing systems, including the Five Elements system of Acupuncture. Although I had a successful private practice as an Acupuncture practitioner for eight years (meaning that I loved the results I saw), I was still constantly searching for yet more and better ways to help my clients. I was pretty driven–never satisfied! This had lead me to study all kinds of modalities—Polarity Therapy, Edu-K, nutrition, Feldenkrais and much more–always searching for the underlying cause of people’s problems; what was the panacea that would help people create the change so they would feel better?
What inspired me to create Resonance Repatterning, that is to put together a whole different system from anything I had studied, practiced and taught, was my realization that healing modalities in themselves were not enough. In my practice, from 1972 onward, I had observed that people were driven by repetitive patterns. By 1989 I began to experiment with identifying these patterns and using healing modalities to transform resonance with them.
My clients were fascinated with what I was doing and felt beneficial results, so in about 1991 they began asking me to teach them what I was doing. This meant I had to write something down, because everything I did was in my head. I worked with my clients in the moment, muscle checking everything they needed from my own internal data base. Nothing was written down!
So I wrote a one page synopsis of everything the new students might need–now we have ten books! After that I wrote out the four “Repatternings” for changing our attitudes and beliefs: these were the pre-cursors to the four Repatternings we learn in the Fundamentals seminars. Actually, one of them was called the Umbilical Repatterning, which I later realized was a muscle check rather than a Repatterning! The more people wanted to learn, the more information I wrote down to meet their need. At the same time I was still developing the work in my full-time practice. So everything I wrote down was in a constant state of flux, changing from week to week. For me this was a time of ferment: thinking, creating, talking to friends and family, reading, analyzing, doing sessions on myself over and over, and on clients too. So from the first class, which had a handout of one page, we went to the next class, which received two pages, and bit by bit over the years the books were written and revised.
Sally: Tell me about your relationship to creating the books.
Chloe: Relationship? Well, as we know, everything is energy or frequency wave patterns that influence everyone else’s frequencies–synchronizing with our frequencies or out of sync with our frequencies. If we say the word “yes,” it strengthens our muscle response and brings our frequencies into sync a little. If we say the word “no” our muscle response weakens and our frequencies go out of sync a little (or a lot!). So in all relationships, we either have a strengthening effect or a weakening effect: we either help people’s frequencies come into sync, or, if they resonate at a certain level with us, our frequencies go out of sync when we are with that person.
We influence and are influenced by others for better or for worse, depending on what we resonate with. So my relationship to creating the books means that I have a responsibility to be coherent and that the system supports people in synchronizing their frequencies to support their self-healing and self-transformation. This means that how I am, my state of coherence as I write the Resonance Repatterning books, is important. That energy is there. This is true whether I am writing a book, or inserting corrections at 2 a.m. My attitude is important: if you love what you do; if you are grateful; if you want to be guided by the highest values, it has an effect. This is why I come from intention before I write or do anything, so the books will have a positive energetic effect upon the reader.
Sally: That is why I would come to one of your workshops, even if you were teaching how to wash dishes!
Chloe: That’s nice! It’s true, whatever we do, however small and seemingly unimportant, the inner attitude we resonate with develops our character and the values we live by and hopefully has a positive influence on our world. It’s the same with teaching: I believe that if I am coherent when I teach, the students, and me, too, will receive what we need from the field of limitless possibilities–a new awareness that is life-changing, a healing of an old wound, new learnings, new ways of seeing, the Aha! that changes our understanding. Without coherence and love, transformation doesn’t happen. This is why we must constantly do our own personal development work–none of us is complete!
This is our relationship to the work. For me, it meant doing the Repatternings on myself over and over as I developed them, and improved them, and transforming my own patterns when life problems arose. Then I would do repatterning sessions with other people, which helped me enliven the work more. Demonstrating them on students in the seminars helped me identify additional improvements. I had to think, feel and practice before any of the repatternings could move to their “final” completion point. It’s all very organic!
Sally: What makes these present books different from the previous books?
Chloe: I just got an e-mail regarding the Primary Patterns book. The practitioner wrote, “The new books are great! I love them!” To give you a few more details:
In the Orientation Section of the Process Guide(Rainbow Book) and the Primary Patterns book, I added an orientation to “the point of choice”. Self-healing begins when we choose healing. The Point of Choice is different from Intention.Point of Choice motivates us to achieve and manifest our intentions. Life offers us a constant wobble—between order and disorder. The Point of Choice is the edge between stability and instability–a place of huge creative potential. The Point of Choice is about going for this creative potential, rather than being stuck in the disorder and instability of our problems and our unmanifested intentions.
The Point of Choice is an opportunity to realign ourselves with our deepest values and priorities. It is how our mind, body and energy become vehicles of consciousness.
Also in the Orientation section of the Rainbow Book, we address “resonating with trust and love.” To really be oriented we need to orient to feeling loved. If we do not have basic orientations to trust and love, how can we heal?
In the “Problems” section of the Process Guide and in the Primary Patterns book, we go deeply into the fear that underlies the problem. Under any problem is a fear and our belief that our fears are true. This belief we resonate with holds us back.
In the “Problems Into Opportunities” section of the Rainbow Book, we have a section to identify the negative attitude. Underlying every problem is a negative attitude, which makes extraordinary change impossible. This is the triangle of the perpetrator, who blames and complains; the victim, who feels helpless; and the savior, who feels it is their responsibility to save the person or situation, or come up with a solution. I’ve listed specifics for each of these negative attitude states so we can quickly move out of these patterns (and switching from one to the other in a few minutes) and take personal responsibility for the fact that all our problems reflect an aspect of our own state of mind.
I have also clarified the Intention for a New Possibility Section. The Headings include:
The Intention for a New Possibility (What we want to do or achieve.), whether by choice, from the list or a Daily Empowerment Intentions.
The second section is what motivates action toward the achievement of our intentions (including the point of choice, the positive feeling our intentions give us, the underlying need our intentions fulfill for us, and our life vision that motivates all our daily intentions.)
The third section identifies the resources we need in order to manifest our intentions, and the various aspects of this section.
And finally, every Intention takes Commitment. The fourth section supports our resonance with this.
All of these new inputs makes the “Intentions” section more powerful and clear.
Sally: And what about the new Transforming Unconscious Patterns (TUPs) book?
The new TUPs book goes deeper into the brain and the power of our brain. For instance, the brain has 100 billion nerve cells which are connected to other nerve cells or neurons. Brain researchers have estimated that there are more nerve connections in the human brain than there are stars in the Universe! Talk about potential! So this book is about supporting this massive potential within us. I am also seeing how the neuroanatomy of the brain relates to the on/off muscle response used in Resonance Repatterning. Quite exciting!
In the TUPs book I go into the seven major neurotransmitter-peptide-endorphins that are needed for optimal body/brain functioning, listing the qualities we need to resonate with.
With respect to self-help modalities and positive actions, there is a list of thirty or more activities proven to support neurotransmitter production and keeping our brain youthful and flexible. For example, something as simple as sleep— that less than seven hours has been shown to lower brain function; and people low in essential fatty acids are at higher risk for ADD, depression, Alzheimer’s, suicidal attempts, and obesity. This section includes information regarding how people can get what they need naturally, through correct eating plus details on what supports brain functioning: for instance, the herb sage has an A-level rating for the highest possible scientific evidence that it enhances memory! That’s amazing! TUPs has lots of important and practical information on what creates positive change of resonance via our brain.
TUPs also goes deeply into the power of forgiveness.
Sally: How do you define “forgiveness”.
Chloe: You know, forgiveness is such a huge subject. Perhaps we can do another interview on that so we can focus more deeply on the power of forgiveness as the ultimate healer. But for now, in the TUPs book we get to identify certain overactive parts of the brain that may be making forgiveness difficult.
Another new aspect in all the books is that I give an overview of each repatterning. If a student or practitioner is short on time, they can glance through the A.B.C. overview of the repatterning in its introduction, and quickly see the sections they want or need to cover.
Sally: And what about the Chakra Patterns book–that, too, is the completed version?
Chloe: Yes it is. In the Transforming Chakra Patterns book, everything has been revised and improved! The Sound Frequency Repatterning is so much easier–and of course, these books are all edited.
There is one thing I am sorry about and that is the page numbers! As we are still working with various versions of the books, you will find inconsistencies with the page numbers. We hope to correct this as soon as possible. In the meantime, here and there you will need to insert your own correct page numbers!
The Rainbow Book is also completely revised. In the Repatterning section we now list of all the Repatternings from the Living In Tune web radio program as quite a lot of students and practitioners are using them. I have divided these twenty-five Repatternings into three sections: eight Repatternings for Personal Coherence, eleven for Achieving the Best of Who You Are and six Repatternings for One-on-one and Group Relationships.
Sally: If someone is interested in acquiring the Living In Tune repatternings that you wrote for your radio programs, how can they get them?
Chloe: At this time, anyone can download them from the Resonance Repatterning website/downloads. In the future, I will edit and update all the transcripts and create a book out of the twenty-five Repatternings, based on the above three categories.
Sally: Is there anything else you can think of that has been updated?
Chloe: An important change is in the Underlying Needs section of the Process Guide. In place of the list of Life Needs and Spirit Level needs, I identified five major categories of needs. Each category has a list of nine to twenty specific needs in it. The five categories include:
1. The need for security, nurturance and love.
2. The need for health and energy.
3. The need to achieve your best, go beyond your limits and manifest your potential.
4. The need for love, respect and happiness in relationship.
5. The need for purpose, meaning, spiritual happiness and love from within.
The Process guide has been totally changed and is much easier to follow. The front cover looks much like the previous version with the mandala, but the back cover now has the Coherence Continuum, which illlustrates the most fundamental concept of Resonance Repatterning.
Sally: Yes, I agree. In examining the Process Guide, as well as the various books, the material is much clearer and goes to greater depth.
Sally: Another question people ask is about the “subtle levels” that you refer to in your books.
Chloe: There are twelve subtle levels, which represent frequencies that exist at the subtle level of the energy field– perhaps some ancient generational pattern we still resonate with but don’t need to identify more specifically, or for those who believe in past lives, they could be seen as some non-coherent frequency still held in the subtle field from the past, again, that doesn’t need to be identified, that is having a negative impact on the present.
Sally: Tell me about the books that have not, to this date, been revised.
Chloe: All of the remaining books are on the verge of being complete. That said, the final editing always takes more time than we realize! I will be working on the Modalities book in November and December, but then it needs a very careful final edit, and probably some re-writing. This Modalities book will be available to the general public, so they can use these modalities in their daily life. I’ll also be working on the Five Elements and Meridian book this October, November and December. The Visions and the Energetics of Relationships books are waiting their final editing. One book at a time. The exciting Inner Cultivation book, which now includes some phenomenal information from the bio-physicist Fritz-Albert Popp and Russian research teams on light, is also in its process of completion. So people who attend these seminars get the most up-to-date version, but without its final editing process.
Sally: Thank you very much, Chloe, for this interview. I greatly appreciate being given this overview. What you have said helps me see the new books in a new light and in particular those sections that you described. I wish you the best with your classes.
Chloe: Thank you Sally. It’s great being able to bring people up to date in this way.
Sally Herr is a Resonance Repatterning Practitioner, a Speech Language Practitioner, MA/CCC, and a Biodynamic CranioSacral Therapist (RCST). She lives and works in Portland, Maine. Her website is SallyHerr.com.
What do the ipod, telephone, and internet have in common? According to Steve Jobs on a taped forum via the TV show 60 minutes on October 23, 2011, he says the common tool is the iphone. OK, the phone, correct? Is it really far from the old landline that hung on the wall with the dial tone and manual piece, navigated by your index finger? Now this one device, called the iphone, integrates all your products and software into that unit, thus integrating all your communications into one simple tool.
One cannot help but acknowledge how much ‘virtual’ relationships have changed the landscape of communication since the onset of the internet. The passing of Steve Jobs this month brings this to mind for me as he was the creator of the virtual relationship conduit. Because of this technology, we are able to build relationships with people whom we may never meet and shake hands with or hug. That can be viewed as the upside of technology, while the downside is the loss of interpersonal connection or the loss ‘to be seen by the heart,’ as Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen notes in her book “Kitchen Table Wisdom.” To Be Seen By the Heart is the title of the chapter wherein she describes a moment in her life when she was 3 years old and she meets her dying godfather for the very first time. That moment ‘when we are seen by the heart we are seen for who we are. We are valued in our uniqueness by those who are able to see us in this way and we become able to know and value ourselves.’ When her godfather opened his eyes and saw her, he smiled at her and very softly said, ‘I’ve been waiting for you.’ He died moments later.
Our challenge for our current and future relationships is to obtain and maintain the heart connections with each other. Our challenge as a member-driven organization is to maintain relationships and support all of us as best we can. Since we are in the virtual environment, we have to be even more diligent in connecting with each other.
To better serve you as a member of the RPA Association, we continue to improve our systems to meet your needs and improve our relationship. In the light of Steve Jobs’ contribution, I view these RPA changes in the spirit of efficiency, inclusion, expansion of services, and directly going out to meeting and addressing the needs of the uniqueness of each of our members. In addition, we have made some streamlined changes at the Board level, but first before I introduce these to you, I want to share something from Dr. Steven Porges. He is a scientist , researcher, founder and author of the Polyvagal theory. In a recent webinar I attended, he describes his Social Engagement System that centers on the Heart-Face Connection and the importance of voice, eye contact, and facial expressions. Taking his work and fast-forwarding it to the world of Steve Jobs and the current technology, Dr. Porges has this to say about relationships:
“The phone stripped away the voice from the face.
The email stripped the word from the voice.”
While the technology will continue to speed forward, we can promote and demand the relationship coherence we expect and need to be with in partnership with each other.
We are trained as Resonance Repatterners in relationship coherence. I invite you to have that with each other and to have that with the RPA. Mutual give and take in this Association is dependent on the growth and stability of this Association. We have so much room for volunteering and new ideas. Please contact me or any of the Board members or Chairs and offer your support. We look forward to working with you!
We are very excited to share these updated and revised opportunities to maintain your CEU’s and share about the new Board structure!
Here are some of the wonderful changes we have made this year:
RPA Board Structure change:
The Board structure has changed from 12 seats on the Board to a 5-member Executive Board. We had our first meeting in October, and I am just thrilled with the Board support in moving in this direction. The Executive Board now consists of: Laura Frisbie, Secretary; Paula Caplan; Joie Jacobsen; Don Giberson; and myself. Josephine Rovari is present during meetings as the RPA Admin Assistant. All the other Board members have moved to Advisory Board chairs of their respective committees.
Continuing Education Changes:
An expanded list of modalities outside of Resonance Repatterning® for continuing education.
This year the Board backdated the timeframe for when non-Resonance Repatterning workshops and events could cover members for CEU’s. We can now go back to July 2010 for programs attended, and if the program is on the list of approved workshops, you can get CEU credit for attendance. Follow the link for the approved modalities list and also to see how you can log your attendance on your MY Account page. Any workshop or program you attend, you will need to provide a copy to the RPA for record-keeping with the approved number of CEU’s stated on your certificate of attendance by your workshop host. Click here to see the expanded list of approved courses:
These are for non-Resonance Repatterning Institute classes earned. You will need to record the number of CEU’s designated and this needs to show up on your certificate of attendance. Instructions are located there on how to record online and where to mail your hard copy of record of attendance or, you can scan your record of attendance showing CEU’s to Josephine Rovari, the RPA Administrative Assistant. The address is provided on the website in this section.
We are very excited about these additions and how our operations are becoming streamlined and coordinated for efficient use of time and efficient ways to stay certified.
Relationships are very intriguing to me. You are in relationship with everyone, from your banker to your lover and everyone in between. How you experience relationships can be uplifting or debilitating depending on how you are in the relationship. Every interaction counts.
Have you ever noticed that the experience you have in an interaction depends on how you approach the person? I have done many conversation experiments, and what I have come to know is the more loving, friendly, and compassionate I am, the more the person I am talking with is that way with me. I have observed this especially when talking to someone, for example, at the phone company when I call in asking for clarity or resolution regarding my bill. Try it next time and notice the difference!
Another experiment I did, many years ago, was with my father. It seemed to me that when he called me, he was reporting how things were going with him and his new family. He would tell me all the things I wished I had done with him when I was young, but since we did not live together, my siblings and I did not get to do many activities. I found myself getting envious of what they were getting that I did not. What was missing for me in his calls was acknowledgment that I still mattered in his life and that I meant a lot to him. So, I started acknowledging him for being such a great father to his other three children and how fortunate they were to get to do all the things they were doing and to have him as a Dad. After just two phone calls, he started asking about me and my life and told me how important I was to him. He also acknowledged me for how much of a difference I was making in the lives of my clients. This was something he had not done before. So the very thing I thought was missing I gave him, and in the very giving of it, I experienced acknowledgement and seemingly out of nowhere, he gave to me the very thing I was previously missing. It was quite remarkable. The switch was very dramatic. So, if there are qualities you are lacking in relationship with others, bring that quality to them or the situation and watch how you are actually experiencing the very quality you previously thought was missing.
There are so many things I have learned over the last few years especially when it comes to relating with men. I would like to honor Allison Armstrong, the developer of the “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®” series, http://www.understandmen.com. She has spent over thirty years studying men. I would like to share some of the things that have made a difference when I speak with men that I have learned from Allison’s inquiry.
Allison has come to know that men are wired to provide, so I let men know what it is that they would be providing for me if they helped me, and they seem to jump at the opportunity. Since men love to make women happy, I might say to my beloved partner Bernie, “It would really make me happy if you would call me before you left your house to come over, so I know when you might be here. It would provide me more time to get ready to see you after I get caught up on my emails.” Even when men I do not know help me, I make it a habit to tell them what they provided for me. Their chest puffs up, knowing they have just made a difference; they love it!
According to Allison, men are also wired to protect women. For example, I might say to Bernie while he is driving us somewhere, “I would feel much safer if there were more distance between our car and the car in front of us.” The interaction is not making him wrong for driving so close, rather, it is about proving safety for me. He naturally slowed down and I made sure I appreciated him by saying, “Thank you, I feel much safer now.” It is important as women that we let men provide safety for us and then appreciate them for it.
I have learned so much about my partner Bernie, just from listening to him. Asking him a question, then being quiet, gives him the time he needs to disclose what he chooses. Over time, he reveals more and more of who is and what he is up to, just in his speaking. Being present for another and listening is such a wonderful gift we can give each other.
I have also learned over the years to ask a man what he thinks rather than how he feels. You would be surprised how much information you get. You can actually learn what means a lot to men, what men value and what men hold dear and near just by listening. Men feel acknowledged and respected when they are listened to and men love respect and acknowledgement!
Allison also talks about how important men’s opinions are to them. She states that men’s opinions are to them, as women’s feelings are to women. So, just by asking their opinion, you can hear their inner longings, goals and what they are up to. You can also hear their sincere desire to help and make a difference in your life. Start really listening and notice the difference!
I like to look at intimate relationships as a sacred journey. We can use everything that ‘comes up’ for us and triggers us as an opportunity to heal. For those of us who are privileged to do Resonance Repatterning®, we can find and clear, or inquire and resolve, what happened in the past that is unresolved that is underneath the current upset. In this way, your intimate relationship can be like a journey, a sacred journey into your greatness, if you will. If you are in an intimate relationship, I encourage you to change your perspective and notice how much more freedom and love you share. Those of you who are not in an intimate relationship, the more you clear what is still unresolved from your past relationships, the more you will be open to the qualities you want to attract in a partner. Those of you who do not do the Resonance Repatterning® process, I would encourage you to find a practitioner in your area or have a phone session with a certified practitioner that you really connect with. The sessions are very profound. You can find one at: http://www.repatterning.org.
Relationships can be more uplifting if you are part of the solution, rather than part of the problem. If you go into the interaction with this intention, you will always get a different response, and your relationship with whomever will be a sacred journey– a source of personal transformation, joy and love.
Victoria has been a Certified Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner since 1994 and Teacher for fifteen years in Phoenix, AZ. In 1996 she opened the “Center for Extraordinary Outcomes”. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, she has used Resonance Repatterning® and five other methods, rather than psychotherapy, with her clients for the past 16 years. She is available for in-person and phone sessions for individuals, couples, groups, families and businesses.
“My name is _____.” There is energy to your name, which deeply effects who you are. If you don’t believe it, imagine how you would feel about yourself if your name was “Pickle”, “Beth”, or “Renaldo’? Would Marilyn Monroe have been considered as sensuous and sexy with the name Norma Jeane Mortenson? Indra Nooyi is CEO and Chairman of PepsiCo and is often identified as the most powerful woman of the world. How could you not take someone seriously with a name like Indra, meaning “Lord of the Heaven”!
Here is a story of what happened when Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner and teacher Carin Block decided to change her name to Magui Block.
Sally: How is it that you decided to change your name?
My mother gave me a birthday gift of a numerology session. The numerologist stated that my name did not fit me. But I could not figure out what to change my name to. Shortly after that session, I went to a supermarket and my money was stolen. I saw it happen and I could not do anything about it.
I clearly saw that the name “Carin Block” resonated with being a victim—that that name attracts bad things. I had worked those non-coherent patterns with Resonance Repatterning and constellations, and I saw by listening to my name many times every day that “Carin” was creating a negative impact. I loved that name, I was used to that name, and everybody knew me as Carin Block. I had a career with that name. How could I change it?
It was a jump, an opportunity to leave behind old patterns, so I did it. I was afraid and at the same time my heart felt lighter.
I decided to use Magui, that is the nickname of Margarita, my second name.
“Magui” is like magic and I want to do magical tools that heal with grace. It is aligned with my vision.
Sally: How has your life changed since your name has changed?
Magui: Before I changed my name, I was stuck in my writing and after I changed my name, I wrote a new book and a new workshop. After I changed my name, I found out about a government agency that supports small business, to help businesses grow. I am now in training to create my business. I am required to give a frank look at how to run a business. For example, I am learning how to handle employees. I have created a brand name—my name is my brand name. I am creating a new logo. I got in contact with my vision as a business. I am learning how to teach and create in a different way. I do not want to repeat the same mistakes. I want to make it better and I feel different, stronger.
Sally: How did Resonance Repatterning help you in your process of changing your name?
Magui: Resonance Repatterning has helped me all through the process of changing my name: making the “right” choices, managing the fear, leaving the old behind and all that triggers a big change like this. It is to leave an “old” way of being and welcoming a new one. Resonance Repatterning helps to do just that: quantum leaps.
For the anxious person, relationships can be a living hell. Far from the oasis of warm support and connection most of us associate with relationships, the anxious person is caught in a vicious cycle of stress responses that create yet more anxiousness.
An anxious person typically has the most difficulty in romantic relationships, followed by friendships and work relationships. Oddly, the research doesn’t mention family relationships.
Anxiety Causes Relationship Problems
I worked with one woman whose relationship with her romantic partner was wonderful. She came from an intensely religious family and as a gay woman she felt insecure and rejected. Told she would burn in hell by her (otherwise loving) family, she needed friendships to fill the role of family for her.
However, when there were changes in her friendships she found herself panicking. She couldn’t trust the bond of friendship to weather the natural disruptions of life such as someone moving or even being very busy. She couldn’t trust her close friendships to continue to be “like family”–that they wouldn’t abandon her–because on a deep level, her family had abandoned her.
See the catch 22? For her, family, intimacy, bonding, love–all mean being abandoned at the primal, core level of accepting who she is as a gay woman. When her friends needed space to work out their lives, she became needy and demanding, “making it all about me,” as she put it.
Relationship anxiety is an internal battleground where the desperate need for reassurance and security are the very things that threaten the relationship.
The anxious person is caught in a catch 22. The obvious need is to trust—but at the same time when trust is most needed she absolutely must not collapse into trusting her overwhelming sensations of anxiety.
“I am driving my partner crazy with my drama and neediness and I can’t stop! My anxiety is pushing him away… and that just makes me even more anxious,” is a typical complaint.
In 2004 the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA) conducted a survey of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) sufferers on the effect their anxiety on their romantic partner relationships.
Seventy percent of GAD sufferers believe their relationship anxiety has a negative effect on their relationships. Compared to non-anxious partners in romantic relationships GAD sufferers were:
Half as likely to perceive themselves as being in a “healthy, supportive” relationship.
Twice as likely to experience relationship problems in communication, social activities, arguments, and sexuality.
Three times more likely to avoid sexual intimacy.
Seventy-five percent believed their anxiety impaired their ability to participate in normal activities with their partner.
Natural Remedies for Anxiety
Relationship anxiety often creates mental state of suspiciousness and worry about their partners’ love, care, or faithfulness.
Becoming aware of their anxiety only serves to make them suspicious of their own thoughts and feelings. The inverse holds true as well: Suspicions about their own thoughts creates anxiety. The perception is there nothing to trust. Any evidence of love and care on the part of the other gets lost in the fear and confusion.
Persistent needs of reassurance, dramatic confrontations and destructive impulses create even more stress in the relationship. Intolerable mental-emotional states create an urgent need for relief (but make for bad decision making.) There is a downward spiral.
Anxious people blame themselves for not overcoming feelings of fear and panic and for the negative effects it has on their relationships. Despair takes hold. Traditional therapy leaves them “knowing better….but not being better.”
Adult Separation Anxiety
What we see as a pattern underneath the anxious person is someone who wants and needs (but is unable to receive) the closeness and security of relationship.
What we see in the relationship patterns of an anxious person is someone who desperately needs assistance with healing.
What we see in the unhealed stress responses requires much more, or something much different, than what either medication or thought-out rational explanations or problem-solving can even begin to provide.
What I see is a great need for Resonance Repatterning.
“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Frederick Buechner
PRACTICAL ADVICE is a regularly appearing column in the RPA Journal. Elizabeth Tobin, JD; Certified Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner answers your questions about creating a thriving Resonance Repatterning practice. If you have a question that you would like answered or if you would like to share your views about any of the topics discussed here, we welcome your comments.
Q: Given that Resonance Repatterning is an empowering process for positive change that can be used on any problem – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual– should I really develop a “target market?”
A:The short answer is, “Yes!” There’s an old adage that says if your market is everyone, then your market is really no one. This means that if you cast too wide a net in terms of who you want to attract as a client then it’s difficult to connect with people on a personal level.
Marketing experts agree that when you are writing sales materials — whether it’s emails, on-line sales pages, flyers, print ads, radio ads, etc. – the most effective approach is to write as if you are speaking to only one person. If you have identified your target market and know what they want and need it will be easier for you to develop effective outreach material.
In this information age, people get bombarded with input so they filter it. In just a few seconds they’ve already decided what’s relevant and what’s not.
You need to get people’s attention, then you need to hold their attention long enough to let them know how you can help. The more specific your message the more likely it will get filtered in to the people whom you most want to reach. That is, the people who are really interested in what you have to offer. If your message is too general it’s more likely to get filtered out – by everyone.
The way to get people’s attention is to be very specific and to speak their language. For example, I am currently offering a 12 session series called “Transforming Money Archetypes and Karmic Contracts” and I’ve written specific Repatternings for the different archetypes and karmas. My target audience is people on a spiritual path who are tuned into the evolution of consciousness and the great cosmic shift that is happening. If I was marketing these same Repatternings to business clients I would use very different language. I wouldn’t talk about archetypes and karma. Instead, I might say “Success Profile,” or “Money Type.”
When choosing your target market, it may help to keep in mind these words I once overheard from a fortune teller, “People have 3 areas of concern – health, relationships, and money. If you stick to these 3 areas you’re bound to hit on something that’s relevant to them.” I would add a fourth item: having a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
There’s another old saying that we teach what we most need to learn.
Through the principle of sympathetic resonance you’ll likely attract clients who mirror your issues, so why not focus on the one area of your life that you’d most like to change? For example, when I first started my Resonance Repatterning practice back in 2001, I was unemployed and needed my practice to start earning money from the get go. Because money was an issue for me, the first thing I did was a series called “100 Days of Wealth.” As you can see from my two examples, I’ve been in practice 10 years and I’m still offering Repatternings on the same topic as when I started out.
Here’s another way to decide on your specific niche: Consumers buy from people they know, like and trust. Telling your own success story about how you changed your life with Resonance Repatterning is a great way for people to get to know you. That you’ve been where they are now let’s them know that you understand their pain and you have a solution to get through that pain. By focusing on your own area of greatest transformation you can offer similarly situated people hope. In addition, you’ll have no trouble speaking from your heart and using language that they can connect with. What’s more, your personal experience, knowledge and insight make you an expert on the topic.
This brings us to your Unique Selling Proposition (USP). Identifying your target market ties into what marketers call your USP. Your USP is what makes you stand out in your field.
Once you’ve identified your target market you’ll have more clarity on why you’re the best practitioner for this market.
Your USP lets people know what they can get from you that they can’t get anywhere else. Why should someone choose you over other practitioners? Your unique selling proposition may include the number of years you’ve been practicing as a professional, certifications that you’ve earned, the life experience you’ve gained in overcoming specific hurdles, awards that you’ve won, etc.
Your target market and your USP are integral to your mission and vision for your practice. Think of them as intentions that you set for your business. Having a clear intention can serve as a guide to discern whether a particular task, project or joint venture fits into your business model. Knowing who you are, what you are offering, and to whom you want to offer it brings clarity and power to your marketing activities and your practice as a whole. And as we know from Resonance Repatterning resonating with your intentions is the key to manifesting them. Resonating with your target market and your unique selling proposition is the key to manifesting your thriving practice!
Elizabeth Tobin, JD is a Certified Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner has been earning her livelihood through her full-time Resonance Repatterning practice since 2001. Geographically based in Boston, MA, Elizabeth serves an international clientele with individual telephone and skype sessions, global distance healing proxy groups and live workshops. Visit her website at http://LizTobin.com
The “Certification Corner” is a regularly appearing column in the RPA Journal and is written by the members of the Certification Board, Meryl Chodosh-Weiss, Shirley Lanyi, Paula Caplan and Mary Cameris. Each issue focuses on aspects of the Resonance Repatterning Certification Process. If you have a question that you would like to be answered in the RPA Journal, you can email Meryl at meryl@beyourbliss.info.
Please know that we all have volunteered to serve on the Board, and that our objective is to help make each Student Practitioner’s Certification journey as harmonious as possible. If you are having any problems or concerns during your Certification journey, please contact us either by calling 1-800-685-2811, option #3, or by writing us at Certification@RPAMembers.org.
We are here to support you and troubleshoot any unusual situation you may be facing. We need to be made aware of problems in order to rectify them and ensure that future Student Practitioners do not have similar experiences.
We were delighted to see that so many Student Practitioners responded to the “Grace Period” offered for all Student Practitioners whose membership and dues were more than one year past their due date. Welcome back!
The “Grace Period” was over as of July 1, but if you are a Student Practitioner going through your Certification process and have let your dues lapse, click on the following to get guidance on how to reinstate your status:
Practitioner Skills Development classes will be held September 26-27, in Scottsddale, AZ, with Ardis Osborn and November 5-6, 2011, in New York, NY, with Meryl Chodosh-Weiss. You can contact Ardis at ozardis@cox.net, 480-481-9023 and Meryl at meryl@beyourbliss.info 212-628-8260, for more information.
Our next Certification Board meetings will be held September 19th, October 17th and on November 14th, 2011.
Our next “Student Practitioners Conference Call,” is scheduled for November 14, 2011, at 7 pm Eastern Time. The conference call is to support you, whether you are a student learning Resonance Repatterning, or you are going through your Certification journey. All questions and concerns are addressed during the teleconference call, and a wonderful Repatterning is done at the end. You can register for the call by clicking on the following site:
We hope you are enjoying your summer. This is the time of the Fire Element. Fire is our masculine element, its aspects being creativity, change, passion, motivation, willpower, drive and sensuality. May whatever you are experiencing during this time be productive, joyful and successful. Have a wonderful summer!
Mary Cameris, Meryl Chodosh-Weiss, Shirley Lanyi, Paula Caplan
Repatterning Journal 