Relationship as a Sacred Journey

Relationships are very intriguing to me. You are in relationship with everyone, from your banker to your lover and everyone in between. How you experience relationships can be uplifting or debilitating depending on how you are in the relationship. Every interaction counts.
Have you ever noticed that the experience you have in an interaction depends on how you approach the person? I have done many conversation experiments, and what I have come to know is the more loving, friendly, and compassionate I am, the more the person I am talking with is that way with me. I have observed this especially when talking to someone, for example, at the phone company when I call in asking for clarity or resolution regarding my bill. Try it next time and notice the difference!
Another experiment I did, many years ago, was with my father. It seemed to me that when he called me,  he was reporting how things were going with him and his new family. He would tell me all the things I wished I had done with him when I was young, but since we did not live together, my siblings and I did not get to do many activities. I found myself getting envious of what they were getting that I did not. What was missing for me in his calls was acknowledgment that I still mattered in his life and that I meant a lot to him. So, I started acknowledging him for being such a great father to his other three children and how fortunate they were to get to do all the things they were doing and to have him as a Dad. After just two phone calls, he started asking about me and my life and told me how important I was to him. He also acknowledged me for how much of a difference I was making in the lives of my clients. This was something he had not done before. So the very thing I thought was missing I gave him, and in the very giving of it, I experienced acknowledgement and seemingly out of nowhere, he gave to me the very thing I was previously missing. It was quite remarkable. The switch was very dramatic. So, if there are qualities you are lacking in relationship with others, bring that quality to them or the situation and watch how you are actually experiencing the very quality you previously thought was missing.
There are so many things I have learned over the last few years especially when it comes to relating with men. I would like to honor Allison Armstrong, the developer of the “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®” series, http://www.understandmen.com. She has spent over thirty years studying men. I would like to share some of the things that have made a difference when I speak with men that I have learned from Allison’s inquiry.
Allison has come to know that men are wired to provide, so I let men know what it is that they would be providing for me if they helped me, and they seem to jump at the opportunity. Since men love to make women happy, I might say to my beloved partner Bernie, “It would really make me happy if you would call me before you left your house to come over, so I know when you might be here. It would provide me more time to get ready to see you after I get caught up on my emails.” Even when men I do not know help me, I make it a habit to tell them what they provided for me. Their chest puffs up, knowing they have just made a difference;  they love it!

According to Allison, men are also wired to protect women. For example, I might say to Bernie while he is driving us somewhere, “I would feel much safer if there were more distance between our car and the car in front of us.” The interaction is not making him wrong for driving so close, rather, it is about proving safety for me. He naturally slowed down and I made sure I appreciated him by saying, “Thank you, I feel much safer now.” It is important as women that we let men provide safety for us and then appreciate them for it.
I have learned so much about my partner Bernie, just from listening to him. Asking him a question, then being quiet, gives him the time he needs to disclose what he chooses. Over time, he reveals more and more of who is and what he is up to, just in his speaking. Being present for another and listening is such a wonderful gift we can give each other.
I have also learned over the years to ask a man what he thinks rather than how he feels. You would be surprised how much information you get. You can actually learn what means a lot to men, what men value and what men hold dear and near just by listening. Men feel acknowledged and respected when they are listened to and men love respect and acknowledgement!
Allison also talks about how important men’s opinions are to them. She states that men’s opinions are to them, as women’s feelings are to women. So, just by asking their opinion, you can hear their inner longings, goals and what they are up to. You can also hear their sincere desire to help and make a difference in your life. Start really listening and notice the difference!

I like to look at intimate relationships as a sacred journey. We can use everything that ‘comes up’ for us and triggers us as an opportunity to heal. For those of us who are privileged to do Resonance Repatterning®, we can find and clear, or inquire and resolve, what happened in the past that is unresolved that is underneath the current upset. In this way, your intimate relationship can be like a journey, a sacred journey into your greatness, if you will. If you are in an intimate relationship, I encourage you to change your perspective and notice how much more freedom and love you share. Those of you who are not in an intimate relationship, the more you clear what is still unresolved from your past relationships, the more you will be open to the qualities you want to attract in a partner. Those of you who do not do the Resonance Repatterning® process, I would encourage you to find a practitioner in your area or have a phone session with a certified practitioner that you really connect with. The sessions are very profound. You can find one at: http://www.repatterning.org.

Relationships can be more uplifting if you are part of the solution, rather than part of the problem. If you go into the interaction with this intention, you will always get a different response, and your relationship with whomever will be a sacred journey– a source of personal transformation, joy and love.

Lovingly submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Victoria has been a Certified Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner since 1994 and Teacher for fifteen years in Phoenix, AZ. In 1996 she opened the “Center for Extraordinary Outcomes”. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, she has used Resonance Repatterning® and five other methods, rather than psychotherapy, with her clients for the past 16 years. She is available for in-person and phone sessions for individuals, couples, groups, families and businesses.

Work Phone:  602-864-7662

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Author: Victoria Benoit, M.C.

I’m Victoria Benoit, Healer, Speaker, #1 Best-selling Author and Publisher, residing in Phoenix, Arizona. I am a fun-loving, optimistic woman living an extraordinarily rich life, filled with passion, love and enthusiasm. Along with my professional life, I enjoy ballroom, country, and west coast swing dancing, singing, biking, hiking, spending time in nature, and traveling to beaches around the world. My friends and family are especially dear to me, no matter what we’re doing. I was raised in Milwaukee with my three siblings who I helped raise. At 20 years old, I seized an opportunity to move to the big city of Chicago, knowing no one, relying solely on my own sense of adventure. Over the next 18 years, I began my spiritual journey of personal growth through the study of metaphysics, had a very successful career in medical ultrasound, and was married and divorce twice. In 1989, I decided it was time to move on—from the Windy City to the Valley of the Sun. Shortly after moving, I was forced to change careers due to a physical injury. In examining what to do next, I saw that through my work as a neonatal ultrasound technologist, I had experienced my natural ability to provide a space of profound love and compassion for couples in the initial stage of grief over the loss of their baby. I applied this insight to create a new career in supporting people through tough times. The next step in my journey was to attain my Master’s Degree and begin working as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I was quickly frustrated with my clients’ lack of progress using traditional methodologies. I decided to study other approaches to support people in creating lives they loved. This guided me to become a Certified Practitioner of Resonance Repatterning®, Soul Memory Discovery™, Spiritual Healing for Indigo's, Grigori Grabovoi Method, and Spiritual Healing for Indigos™. I found these methods to be highly-effective in restoring my clients’ physical, emotional, mental, financial, and spiritual well-being. In 1996, I opened the Center for Extraordinary Outcomes. Now, with countless clients experiencing extraordinary outcomes, I was again able to enhance the difference I make in the lives of others by moving beyond providing individual sessions to include teaching Resonance Repatterning for 15 years and conducting group repatterning sessions. Out of my passion and commitment to help people achieve their goals and dreams, I then developed and facilitated my ‘Heal Your Birth Journey-Heal Your Life’ workshop for over twelve years which has made a huge difference in the lives of many. I’ve been offering my, ‘Heal Your Family System – Heal Your Life’ workshop for over five years. While the Center continues to expand, I’ve created yet another way to make an even bigger difference—with even more people—I published my first Amazon #1 best-selling book, What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life. In this step-by-step guide to living an extraordinary life, I share my philosophy about the power of love, forgiveness, making amends, and emotional healing in those areas and relationships that effect one’s quality of life today—family, career, romance, health, finances, and self-expression. The readers—themselves—are able to release and heal the pain and suffering from past heartaches, disappointments, and failures that undermine their ability to manifest their dreams and that prevent them from living the life they were born to live. I’ve also penned six other books which are in the queue for publishing: "Living on the Skinny Branches of Life", “Relationship - A Sacred Journey to Your Greatness", "Three Magical Words for a Magical Life", "Conversations with the Fairy Realm", "Adventures with the Fairy Realm", and “No Weeping Widow Here.” I absolutely love the difference I make in the world! I am committed to helping people live a life they love—one that is overflowing with love, joy, passion and fulfillment. Contact Information: Victoria Benoit Victoria@ExtraordinaryOutcomes.com www.ExtraordinaryOutcomes.com 602.864.7662

One thought on “Relationship as a Sacred Journey”

  1. Thank you Victoria for your insightful and “wise” insights into men!

    Having been married for 21 years I have to say I wish I had had those insights 21 years ago. I did learn fairly soon the importance of men being appreciated and that typically they are “thinkers” rather than “feelers”. AND I was introducted to Resonance Repattering 8 years into my marriage and this work has definitely both salvaged (at times) and enhanced my relationship with my husband beyond what I thought would be possible.

    Like

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