Author: Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Set yourself free. Start here. START NOW!

Applying the Magical Healing Process to people who have harmed you. This recipe has four ingredients: 1) recalling and recording incidents from your past; 2) releasing your associated feelings; 3) energetically giving the responsibility back to the other person; and 4) receiving the other person’s sincere apology.

Recalling. Within a relationship category—your parents, your intimate partners, your children and siblings, your extended family, your friends, teachers, coaches, clergy, and your work associates—recall a harmful incident with as much detail as possible.

Recording. Using your Healing Notebook, record what happened along with the person’s name and their relationship to you. Remember to include the age you were and your feelings at the time.

• For example: You might start by saying, “I’m ready now to face and heal my past hurts,” then, accept whatever arises.

Your mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imaginary. Don’t spend time wondering whether something really happened—just work with it.

Releasing. As you recall each experience, allow your emotions to surface. The feelings being released may include anger, betrayal, sadness, grief, humiliation, confusion, shame, etc. Whatever the emotion is, REALLY feel it and let it out.

• For example: when you feel angry—really feel it and express it—go for a run, beat on some pillows, sit in your car and scream, or whatever works for you. The only rule is to not harm yourself or others. When the anger dissipates, it’s likely that another underlying feeling will arise. Express this feeling just as vigorously. Keep expressing each underlying feeling as it arises until you experience a sense of freedom and calmness. Releasing your feelings begins the process of healing.

Freeing. You can energetically free yourself from the harm. Simply give back to the person who harmed you, the responsibility you’ve been assuming for their behavior. Close your eyes and visualize the other person standing in front of you. Say the following statement aloud:

• “I’m giving you back the responsibility I’ve been assuming for the harm you caused me. By giving you back your responsibility, I’m also giving you back your dignity. I know you have the strength to carry it. Please, give me your blessings as I direct my energy and attention—which are now free—to create my magical life.”

Visualize the other person gladly receiving your communication and imagine them saying to you—with honor and respect:

• “It’s no longer necessary for you to assume my responsibility for the harm I caused you and I accept the guilt for my behavior. I give you my blessings as you move forward in your life.”

NOTE: I recommend copying these statements into your Healing Notebook so they’re easily accessible when you’re healing each experience.

Receiving an authentic apology. To complete the process, recall the incident you want to heal and the other person providing:

First: A genuine, authentic and complete apology.

• For example: I am sorry for all the harm I caused you, when I said/did _____.”

Then: Action(s) that ensure it won’t occur again.

• For example: “I’ll speak respectfully so I don’t cause you anymore harm.”

Next: A way to restore the relationship.

• For example: “How can I make it up to you?”

Finally: Picture what you need—and VISUALIZE them doing it. You may want to write down the imaginary responses and refer to them as a way to discover patterns.

Restoring the relationship. Stephen Marmar, in a Prager University video, states that, “Exoneration can occur when a person is truly sorry for hurting you and takes full responsibility (without excuses) for what they did, as well as assures you that they will not do it again—it wipes the slate entirely clean and restores the relationship.”

It may be enough that they authentically apologized—or it may be there is nothing they could do to make up for the harm—or you may know specific actions that they could take to restore your relationship.

• For example: doing 30 days of community service, donating to your favorite charity, taking you out to dinner, treating you to your favorite sporting event, or whatever it is you need.

Be reasonable. The action you request should be something that’s within reason. For being constantly late, it might be dinner out, going to a movie, or a massage—not a week-long vacation in the Bahamas at an all-inclusive resort.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Healing doesn’t mean the pain never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” ~ Author Unknown

Turn your wounds into wisdom.

The Magical Healing Process. It’s not just about saying the words, “I am sorry,” it’s about having these three words make a positive difference in your relationships and your life. By taking your precious time to engage in the Healing Process, you can free yourself to have a magical life. Here’s the recipe I discovered that really works.

The Magical Healing Process with those who have harmed YOU is slightly different than the one used with those you have harmed.

Capture tool. Use a notebook or electronic device to capture 1) what happened; 2) the name of the person(s) involved; 3) their relationship to you; 4) the age you were at the time; and 5) what you were feeling when it was happening. I will refer to this as your Healing Notebook. Organize it by relationship category (family, friends, associates, etc.) or by incident (chronologically) for ease of adding things you recall.

Recall and record. As you recall information about each incident you want to heal, record it. The process will work even if the person is deceased or no longer in your life at all.

Stored emotions cause issues. Every emotion is stored in every cell of our body. Now is the time to release any harmful emotions from your past so you can heal and move forward in your life. In the book, You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay states that stored negative emotions cause a wide variety of unpleasant symptoms and physical ailments in the body.

Feel free to ask for support. Examining harmful recollections can be difficult. Don’t hesitate to have someone you trust available to support you. Feel safe in knowing that you indeed survived these hurts. Although you cannot undo what happened, you can energetically release the harm that you’ve been harboring for years. This does not, however, excuse your behavior or the behavior of others.

Be courageous. The degree to which you participate in this healing work is the degree to which you will free yourself from the past. You will then have more room in the present to experience love, optimism, hope, and peace of mind to create a magical future filled with new possibilities, beyond what you ever imagined.

Everything begins with intention. As you begin each healing session, it’s important that you bring your energy and awareness into your precious heart. This makes authentic forgiveness and amends possible.

Access your innate wisdom. Set aside enough time to allow yourself to go deep into your inner knowing—where all your answers are. Find a private place where you won’t be interrupted. Get comfortable and close your eyes. Center yourself in the present moment by taking a few deep breaths—slowly in and out through your nose. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which will cause you to be calmer and more relaxed.

The key to a magical life. There is genuine value in doing this with everyone who has harmed you or who you have harmed. It will not only set you free, it will set them free as well. Wow, what an opportunity!

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Be courageous—making amends is worth it.

Making amends. To bear your soul and admit that you have made a mistake, or said something you regret, takes a big person. To honor another as you would like to be honored, and treat another as you want to be treated, is a special gift you bring to yourself and the other person. To be open and vulnerable takes a lot of courage. Be courageous—making amends is worth it.

Receiving amends. When someone reaches out to make amends, be generous, listen, and let them apologize. It will set you both free. Remember to separate the person from their behavior—it’ll be easier to let go of the hurt. It’s also an opportunity for you to take inventory of what you did that might have hurt them and apologize.

Personal responsibility. Consider, we’re all doing the best we can with all the negative experiences we’ve been through and the limited opportunities and options

available to us to facilitate healing our hearts. The more information and transformational tools we have at our disposal, the more responsibility we have to use them.

Respect yourself. Even though you know that we are all doing the best we can, it doesn’t mean you need to stay in a relationship with someone who is abusive, hurtful, or who won’t participate in resolving challenges.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Humility leads to strength and not weakness. It is the highest form of self-respect to admit mistakes and make amends for them.” ~John J. McCloy

The way to release this bitterness is through forgiveness.

Let’s talk about forgiveness. Dr. Rick Hindmarsh said, “I have been a physician for four decades and have seen more lives destroyed by bitterness than cancer, addiction, heart disease, diabetes, and contagious diseases combined.”

The moment we take on the harm of an incident, bitterness sets in, which can destroy us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The way to release this bitterness is through forgiveness.

Be at peace. Doreen Virtue, PhD., Counseling Psychologist, states, “Forgiving someone doesn’t mean what they did is okay, it simply means that you are no longer willing to hold onto any negative feelings in response to what happened—you don’t have to forgive the ACTION, just the person—so you can be at peace.”

Restoring the relationship. Stephen Marmar, in a Prager University video, states that, “Exoneration can occur when a person is truly sorry for hurting you and takes full responsibility (without excuses) for what they did, as well as assures you that they will not do it again—it wipes the slate entirely clean and restores the relationship.”

Give back the guilt. Bert Hellinger’s Family Constellation Forgiveness Theory explains that it is not up to us to forgive. Since we generally want to have peaceful relationships, we unconsciously take on the pain caused by others, along with any guilt for their behavior—in the hope they will harm us less. Therefore, it’s up to the person who caused the harm to take responsibility for their behavior and ask the Divine to forgive THEM. Our job is to energetically allow them to take back the guilt and pain they caused, so we can heal. The use of this approach is especially effective for people who have been abused.

Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a decision. Keep in mind, forgiveness is different than trust. Forgiveness is granted. Trust is earned. Each path to forgiveness can be of value depending on your circumstances.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~ Catherine Ponder

It’s important to heal the hurt and pain from the past.

Magical words that make a difference. Many books have been written about magical words. The words that I want to talk about, you may not have previously thought were magical. Nevertheless, they are magical indeed! I bet you are wondering what the three words are. Perhaps you think they are, “I love you.” Actually, it’s much easier to say, “I love you,” than to say the three magical words, “I am sorry.” Yet, as you will discover, it’s more than just saying those words that makes the difference.

Subconscious beliefs. There may be many negative images and thoughts that come up for you when you hear, “I am sorry.” You may have jumped all the way back to a childhood incident, such as being spanked while being told, “I’m sorry,” and decided that love hurts. Later, as an adult, you may have attracted a husband, a wife, or a partner to you that hurts you because of this subconscious belief.

Begin by healing your past. It’s important to release all your negative experiences associated with the words, I am sorry, so they can become magical words. To have a magical life filled with full self-expression, creativity, and joy it’s important to heal the hurt and pain from the past. It’s difficult to create and live a magical life if your unresolved past is unconsciously intruding. Going into the hurtful experiences from your past may not be easy, nonetheless, it is necessary if you want to live a magical life filled with love, adventure, passion, and joy.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry and accept an apology I never received.” ~ Author Unknown

The journey IS the reward.

A beautiful life is a wonderful journey. I am often reminded that everyone is on their own path. People are in our lives for specific purposes; sometimes they appear for just a few weeks, several months, many years; or some stay a lifetime. Brian Chalker said it best in this memorable poem:

A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with

guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up

or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our

need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

When someone is in your life for a SEASON,

it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

And, like Spring turns to Summer and

Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must

build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson; love the person or people involved;

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships

and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind

but friendship is clairvoyant.”

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“True friends are never apart. Maybe in distance, but never in heart.” ~ Author Unknown

Today is the first day of your magical life!

What is a Magical life? Magical lives are just that; magical, extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous.

How is this possible? It’s possible by being curious, open, honest, loving, and humble. For those who are here to be all you can be—to love and be loved in profound ways and to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others—this process can be your ticket to these possibilities and more!

What are the three magical words? Most people think those three words are, I LOVE YOU. But really, they are I AM SORRY. By authentically expressing I AM SORRY to the people in your life and encouraging them to do the same, causes a global impact starting with YOU!

How do you start? Start by using the three magical words with the people in your life and encouraging them to do the same. This can have a global impact starting with YOU! Letting go of your past hurts and the harm you have caused others is the key. When your past is in the past where it belongs, you’ll have a clean slate in the present to create and live a magical life.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Don’t settle for ordinary. Dare to live a magical life.” ~ Debasish Mridha

To really love, first learn to forgive.

Forgiveness accomplishes miracles. Using the three magical words, I AM SORRY, frees you from past hurts you’ve received and given. This can support you in emerging as your authentic self—to live a fully magical life!

Release what binds you to the past. When your past is unresolved, it not only impacts your life today, it also impacts your future. Your old thoughts and patterns will continue to show up in your life until you heal them. How can you create a magical life if your past is interfering?

Life is too short to keep struggling. This process is for the courageous among us. You will take an inner journey into some unhealed territory, but the rewards will be worth it—I promise. Some areas may take more courage, especially the ones where you take responsibility for the hurt you have caused other people. The key is to have compassion for yourself and others.

Get rid of what’s holding you back. The more you allow yourself to explore unhealed areas within yourself, the greater the outcome. As you complete each process, it’s important to take the time to notice the freedom you have created to live a magical life.

Stop feeling forsaken and disconnected. I encourage you to heal all the relationships in your life, beginning with those that are usually most impactful through those which, in many cases, have less significance. Although you can do this work in any order you choose, I recommend starting with your parents and continuing with your intimate partners, your children and siblings, your extended family, your friends, teachers, coaches, clergy, and your work associates. Be sure to go at your own pace.

Let go of bitterness and resentment. Balance is the key! As you are healing and making changes in your life, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and frustrated. Be gentle with yourself, love yourself, and pace yourself. Take your time. This isn’t a race. It’s a journey into your inner world, where the limitations that stop you from living a magical life are patiently waiting to be transformed.

Does the Magical Healing Process really make a difference? Yes, and to live a magical life, there’s no hope in avoidance. Going into the unknown parts of yourself from your past may not be easy, however, it is necessary.

There are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.

Is transformational support available? For those who want to have an extraordinary, remarkable, exceptional, outstanding, incredible, phenomenal, unbelievable, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, fantastic, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, miraculous, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, awesome, and wondrous life, feel free to choose a certified practitioner on the Repatterning Practitioners Association website who can support you in identifying and releasing negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living a magical life.

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit, M.C.

Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life, and Three Magical Words for a Magical Life.

Speaker

“Nothing binds you except your thoughts; nothing limits you except your fear; and nothing controls you except your beliefs.” ~ Marianne Williamson