What Would Love Do Right Now in Opening Your Heart?

Opening your heart fully may require courage to release resentment, animosity, or guilt associated with the past. It’s really about accepting your humanity and the humanity of others.

Forgiveness

Freeing yourself from resentment and animosity toward others may be accomplished through forgiveness. There are many interpretations of what it is to forgive another.

My aha moment came when I read Doreen Virtue’s Forgiveness card. I realized that forgiving someone doesn’t mean what they did is okay, it simply means I’m no longer willing to hold onto any negative feelings in response to what happened—I don’t have to forgive the action, just the person, to be at peace.

In the PragerU.com video on forgiveness, Stephen Marmar explains that forgiveness is a very complex concept. He reviews three types of forgiveness: exoneration, forbearance, and release.

Exoneration is when a person is truly sorry for hurting you and takes full responsibility (without excuses) for what they did, as well as assures you that they will not do it again—it wipes the slate entirely clean and restores the relationship.

Forbearance is when an offender makes an inauthentic apology, or blames you somehow for causing them to behave badly. It leaves you with a degree of watchfulness yet cautiously optimistic, like forgive but not forget or trust but verify, and allows you to preserve relationships with people who, while far from perfect, are still important to you.

Release is critically important for your well-being: it allows you to let go of what’s weighing you down and eating away at your chance for happiness. It does not require that you continue the relationship, but like Doreen Virtue’s concept, it asks that you let go of your bad feelings and preoccupation with the negative things that have happened to you.

Stephen Marmar concludes with, “To forgive may be divine, but when we understand its dimensions, we find that it is within our ability to do it.”

If you need an apology to forgive someone you’re unable to locate, or who is deceased, write a letter from them to you and mail it to yourself. When you read it a few days later, imagine it’s coming from the other person, allow yourself to receive the apology, and forgive them.

Forgiveness Specific to Child Abuse

Child abuse is one of the most difficult experiences to resolve, release, and heal. Some people assume the guilt and try, for many years, to forgive their abuser(s) without success, while others are determined not to forgive and are left living with the ongoing shame, pain, and hate without relief.

According to Bert Hellinger’s philosophy of forgiveness—relative to children who have been psychologically, physically, or sexually abused—if a child forgives the abuser, in addition to the abuse the child suffered, the child will assume the guilt and responsibility for the abuser’s behavior. Therefore, he insists that the child must not forgive the abuser. Based on Hellinger’s philosophy, Magui Block’s book, Healing the Family, presents a process through which abused children can heal themselves from the pain they’ve endured by giving the guilt and responsibility for the abusive behavior back to the abuser.

This is where Resonance Repatterning® comes in. This method, developed by Chloe Faith Wordsworth, releases the resonance with any unhealed parts of yourself that would keep you from forgiving yourself and/or others. You may want to consider going to the Repatterning Practitioners Association website and choosing a certified practitioner you feel guided to working with and give them a call. You’ll be amazed at the results.

May the wisdom inside you take you on a journey into your heart where your greatness abides. Now, that’s living a heart-centered, extraordinary life!

Lovingly Submitted,

Victoria Benoit

Healer, Speaker, Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, What Would Love Do Right Now?  A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life    

Author: Victoria Benoit, M.C.

I’m Victoria Benoit, Healer, Speaker, #1 Best-selling Author and Publisher, residing in Phoenix, Arizona. I am a fun-loving, optimistic woman living an extraordinarily rich life, filled with passion, love and enthusiasm. Along with my professional life, I enjoy ballroom, country, and west coast swing dancing, singing, biking, hiking, spending time in nature, and traveling to beaches around the world. My friends and family are especially dear to me, no matter what we’re doing. I was raised in Milwaukee with my three siblings who I helped raise. At 20 years old, I seized an opportunity to move to the big city of Chicago, knowing no one, relying solely on my own sense of adventure. Over the next 18 years, I began my spiritual journey of personal growth through the study of metaphysics, had a very successful career in medical ultrasound, and was married and divorce twice. In 1989, I decided it was time to move on—from the Windy City to the Valley of the Sun. Shortly after moving, I was forced to change careers due to a physical injury. In examining what to do next, I saw that through my work as a neonatal ultrasound technologist, I had experienced my natural ability to provide a space of profound love and compassion for couples in the initial stage of grief over the loss of their baby. I applied this insight to create a new career in supporting people through tough times. The next step in my journey was to attain my Master’s Degree and begin working as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I was quickly frustrated with my clients’ lack of progress using traditional methodologies. I decided to study other approaches to support people in creating lives they loved. This guided me to become a Certified Practitioner of Resonance Repatterning®, Soul Memory Discovery™, Spiritual Healing for Indigo's, Grigori Grabovoi Method, and Spiritual Healing for Indigos™. I found these methods to be highly-effective in restoring my clients’ physical, emotional, mental, financial, and spiritual well-being. In 1996, I opened the Center for Extraordinary Outcomes. Now, with countless clients experiencing extraordinary outcomes, I was again able to enhance the difference I make in the lives of others by moving beyond providing individual sessions to include teaching Resonance Repatterning for 15 years and conducting group repatterning sessions. Out of my passion and commitment to help people achieve their goals and dreams, I then developed and facilitated my ‘Heal Your Birth Journey-Heal Your Life’ workshop for over twelve years which has made a huge difference in the lives of many. I’ve been offering my, ‘Heal Your Family System – Heal Your Life’ workshop for over five years. While the Center continues to expand, I’ve created yet another way to make an even bigger difference—with even more people—I published my first Amazon #1 best-selling book, What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life. In this step-by-step guide to living an extraordinary life, I share my philosophy about the power of love, forgiveness, making amends, and emotional healing in those areas and relationships that effect one’s quality of life today—family, career, romance, health, finances, and self-expression. The readers—themselves—are able to release and heal the pain and suffering from past heartaches, disappointments, and failures that undermine their ability to manifest their dreams and that prevent them from living the life they were born to live. I’ve also penned six other books which are in the queue for publishing: "Living on the Skinny Branches of Life", “Relationship - A Sacred Journey to Your Greatness", "Three Magical Words for a Magical Life", "Conversations with the Fairy Realm", "Adventures with the Fairy Realm", and “No Weeping Widow Here.” I absolutely love the difference I make in the world! I am committed to helping people live a life they love—one that is overflowing with love, joy, passion and fulfillment. Contact Information: Victoria Benoit Victoria@ExtraordinaryOutcomes.com www.ExtraordinaryOutcomes.com 602.864.7662

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